Courage

Tomorrow I meet my new son.  Caleb is scheduled to be born via c-section on March 6, 2015 at 12:30 pm.  As long as everything goes according to plan, today is the eve of his birth.

He is my last baby, the conclusion to this chapter of my life.  He is what makes our family complete.

I am excited to meet him.  And, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous.  I am.  I always am.  I am thankful that I live in a time in which modern medicine and doctors and nurses have such knowledge and ability, and that I have access to their care.  I know that I will be in good hands, and that my baby will be in good hands.  That does alleviate my fears somewhat. It's difficult to imagine what other women of other times must have felt prior to birthing their own babies--or their husbands for that matter.  I know that Jon Mark is nervous as well.  He obviously doesn't like seeing me in pain.

I was watching the Mormon Channel today and I saw a video about courage.  It showed Esther preparing to approach the king.  You could sense that she was afraid, but she had a resolve about her. Her faith in the Lord gave her courage to do what she needed to do.  Then, the video showed three women of modern times.  Each of them had experienced something difficult.  One woman lost her husband in a car accident and she talked about how she had to find courage through her pain so that she could live life meaningfully in spite of it.  Her faith gave her courage.  Another woman had to find courage to quit her job.  The company she worked for had done some things which were contrary to her beliefs and she knew she needed to approach her boss about it and trust that the Lord would take care of her.  The third woman went through Cancer.  She said, "you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left." Each of them faced their trials with faith in the Lord, that all things were apart of a bigger plan, and that He was aware of them.  When we grasp this concept, how can we not find courage in even the hardest hours?

Millions of women have given birth before me, and millions of women will give birth after me. Giving life to another is not new, I am sure that women from all around the world have felt as I feel...

Delivering a baby is as exciting as it is scary. It is learning how to trust in others. It is as beautiful and heart-warming as it is self-sacrificing--which only adds to it's beauty.  It is seeing the great compassion in my husband and feeling his strength and love. It is putting someone else's life above my own and knowing that no matter what, that little life is precious and perfect and vulnerable, and that he needs me, his mother, as much as he needs his father. Giving birth requires courage--courage to do what is right for the baby, courage to accept the Lord's will, and courage to trust that God is in the details.  He is indeed in the details.

So, as Jon Mark and I embark on this "5th baby adventure" together, we will have courage in our hearts and we will soon hold even more love in our arms.