Conference, And An Answer to Prayer

We prepared spiritually for this April 2020 conference. President Nelson promised that if we prepared for this unique conference (it is the 200th anniversary of Joseph Smith's first vision), we would be blessed to receive further light, and that it would be unforgettable. We took this to heart and prepared as much as we could as a family. It was life-changing for me. The readers of this blog can re-read the conference talks to hear what we experienced, and hopefully they will feel the same, overpowering spirit that we felt. I felt to rejoice, my soul was full of love and a desire to do good and be good. I can't really communicate in words what I experienced, my tears flowed freely, suffice it to say, that I felt as the people in 3rd Nephi, when they asked that the Lord tarry with them longer. They had been so spiritually fed by the resurrected Christ, that they didn't want Him to leave them. I had similar feelings. Monday comes, but Sunday was beautiful. I hope that Sunday changed me into a better version of myself, even if I still falter along the way. I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I love the influence of the Holy Ghost. And, I love President Nelson. I love him so much, and I can feel his love he has for the people of this world.

I've reflected on and off about one particular paragraph from Elder Oaks' talk. 

    "In the Council in Heaven, all the spirit children of God were introduced to the Father’s plan, including its mortal consequences and trials, its heavenly helps, and its glorious destiny. We saw the end from the beginning. All of the myriads of mortals who have been born on this earth chose the Father’s plan and fought for it in the heavenly contest that followed. Many also made covenants with the Father concerning what they would do in mortality. In ways that have not been revealed, our actions in the spirit world have influenced our circumstances in mortality."

This paragraph has stuck with me. I find that I am asking myself often if I am doing all that I ought to be doing to live up to my potential. This beautiful life I have been given, which is truly a beautiful, surely comes with the command, "to whom much is given, much is required". Am I living up to my potential? If my actions in the spirit world, influenced my circumstances in morality, and my morality is so beautiful, then surely I must be able to do great things, and ought to do great things in mortality. I don't mean to boast, I mean to say that I feel like Ammon:

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not ^aboast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my ^bjoy is full, yea, my heart is brim with ^cjoy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am ^anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will ^bnot boast of myself, but I will ^cboast of my God, for in his ^dstrength I can do all ^ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

...15 Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting ^adarkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting ^blight, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.

Like Ammon, I feel I am to be an instrument in His hands to bring about His work. If covenants were made in the spirit world, and I covenanted with God to do a certain work, whatever that may be, I wish to fulfill my obligations. I asked my husband, "How do I know if I am doing enough? How do I know if I am fulfilling that covenant?" 

Somewhat concerned over the matter, I have thought and prayed over it considerably.

It is interesting to me how the Lord works. I am often amazed by how well He knows me. Indeed, I stand all amazed at how well He knows how to succor His people. I have already had the spiritual experiences necessary to answer my questions. I had just forgotten that this prayer had already been answered. 

A few years ago, I had written a letter to our Stake Patriarch and his wife, Brother and Sister Barnes. It was a journal entry that I had written in regards to my question of who I was before I came to earth. I spent quite a bit of time pondering over my spiritual gifts. My spiritual gifts were the answers I got in response to that heartfelt question about who I was. It showed me then that the Lord loves me intimately and knows me intimately too. He led me down a path, where, little by little my soul discovered these precious little nuggets. Like pieces to a puzzle, or strokes added to a tapestry, the picture slowly started to come together and my prayers were answered. 

I have not had as much correspondence with my friends, the Barnes', over the last couple of years. We have moved wards and so I do not see them as regularly. But, yesterday, Brother Barnes sent me an email, he asked me for permission to share my letter with a loved one. I re-read my letter. As I read my own words from a few years ago, my heart swelled with joy. The spirit whispered to me that I already knew the answers to the questions I had been pondering. It was right there, in my own words. The spirit had already answered it for me and I just forgot where to look. I was thankful that Patriarch Barnes was in tune with the spirit enough to bring this letter back to my attention. I smiled at the thought of my Savior giving me a spiritual hug, telling me through impressions that I received, that He knows all, He knows everything I need before I even know what I am missing, He hears me, and He answers my prayers. Indeed, He has never let me down. I know from experience that He even knows what's on my Amazon wish list, but that is a post for another time ;) 

Isn't it great? We have every reason to rejoice in our Lord.

Picture Overload

This quarantine has had it's perks. We have had ample family time, and I can definitely see the blessings of a slower paced life style. I know that there is an end to quarantine, so I am just choosing to enjoy this time together while I can. 

In future years, when the kids look back and reflect on this historical time, I hope they look upon it with fondness. I hope they remember it as a time when they played and laughed together, when we ate dinner outside almost nightly. I hope they remember the forts they built and the Sunday lessons they gave. I hope they remember how our home was our church and that they feel the special spirit that home church brought. I want them to remember movie nights and a calm mom who doubled as their teacher. I hope they think back to this time and remember how their dad bought them a basketball hoop, fixed their trampoline, bought them a fire pit, Frisbee dodge-ball disks, miscellaneous toys, and card games so that they wouldn't be bored. I want them to reflect on the many, many, many hikes and bike-rides and I hope they smile when they do. I hope they remember how their mom let them jump off of beds onto large bean bags, and, against her better judgement, off of flights of stairs onto those bean bags (we put a stop to that one once they couldn't stick to jumping from the 6th step up--Luke and Joshua were completely jumping the entire flight). So, yeah, I see the blessings of this quarantine. We aren't rushing. We are just enjoying. I know that dance, wrestling, football, soccer, YM and YW, and primary activities will all start back up again. So for now, we are enjoying, and maybe, hopefully, after all of this is over, we will remember to keep enjoying and living this dream together just a little bit better.  

Jon Mark blessed me at the beginning of this year that this year would be a year full of joy, joy that seemed to overflow and overwhelm. As I reflect on quarantine, I see how this blessing is coming to pass for me. It is a joyous time for us. I know that it's a trying time for so many who have been affected by COVID 19, I know that the world stands on the brink of economic collapse and that many are suffering the effects and devastation. Perhaps the future isn't all rosy, but I am full of faith and excited for the future, whatever it holds. I will choose today to feel the joy that Heavenly Father has blessed my family with. Today there is much to be grateful for.

Family movie night

 I took the older two on a hike. It was fun being with them. They're growing into tweens and teens and they are a lot of fun to be with. Their sense of humor is maturing, they make me laugh. On this particular hike, Mercedes was startled by a little puppy and the fear she portrayed was really funny, although she got quite embarrassed.

There were no public or church, or even extended family Easter hunts, but we enjoyed our own little egg hunt.

These are the pictures we took of the kids waiting to go down stairs to see their Easter baskets.

Another hike we enjoyed with Jessica.

Quarantine life has me going to the store like a ninja.

Quarantine has me painting bathrooms.

Caleb is obsessed with pirates and treasure and money. Mercedes helped him make an eye patch, and a eye glass so that he could sneak amongst the pirates and not be noticed. 

This is where I played a trick on the kids and told them that because of quarantine they would now be required to go to school over the summer and sleep there like a boarding school. Joshua didn't buy it, but Luke and Mer cried.

This is what Home Sacrament Meeting looks like. 

Joshua had to make dinner one night because he gagged on veggies the night before.

The kids loved coloring eggs and eating the hard boiled eggs afterwards.

Cubby is really good at building with Legos. He built this car without any instructions. He didn't do it exactly right, but he did really well.

We got lockers for the kids to stash their back packs and shoes in.

More hikes.

My dad's quarantine haircut he asked me to give him. He's the hippest grandpa around.

The kids drew portraits of me. They aren't flattering, and Hannah made sure to draw my forehead wrinkles. The second time around, she erased the wrinkles because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

This was the day before lock down. We had Cub's fifth birthday at the park. He kept track of everyone who didn't make it who owed him presents. HAHA

You guessed it, more hiking.

This picture was before quarantine. I babysat Jacob and bought them fun popsicles.

Before quarantine, I went on a really fun Relief Society retreat and had a blast.

Before quarantine, Cub discovered that he is a huge fan of cotton candy.

Before quarantine, the girls had dance recitals scheduled, now that they are cancelled, so are dance pictures in their cute outfits.

A painting I made for the bishopric and had the kids sign.

Caleb earned a dollar and spent it on some little legos.