I feel like I have recorded this somewhere, or at least portions of it, but I can't find it anywhere... So, for the sake of time, and my sanity, I'll just rerecord :)
Several months ago, in fact, I'd say a few years ago, I was listening to a talk given by our now prophet, President Nelson. He was speaking to the young single adults, but I figured that whatever he had to say should apply to me as well.
He was encouraging them. He challenged them to pray to know who they are, who they were before they came to earth, and what their potential is. He said that once they knew who they really were and all that they were capable of, their lives would be forever changed. They would understand their life's mission. They'd have a clearer picture of the eternities. I figured that this sounded like something I wanted to do for myself. It was a righteous desire, so I pressed forward with strong faith that my prayers would be answered. The first place I went to find out who I was before coming to earth was my patriarchal blessing. This blessing has brought me years of guidance and warmth, but this time however, I felt discouraged. After reading my blessing, I felt a lot of feelings, none of which were super positive. It was as if the adversary was using something sacred and personal to me to poke at me and I began to question whether or not Heavenly Father even knew me. This was not was I had been hoping for. I put my blessing on a mental shelf and figured that I'd pray to know who I was through other resources like prayer and scripture study.
This went on for several months. I felt discouraged. I live and walk by faith, so my testimony was never faltering, but I was feeling discouraged about it. I shared my thoughts with Michelle. She challenged me to not give up. She specifically told me to not put my own timetable on when my prayers ought to be answered. I thought that that was good advice. With a new sense of faith and a new attitude, I decided to continue to pray and just trust in the Lord's timing, not my own. That night, I cried to my Heavenly Father. I literally poured out my heart and all of my emotions that I had been feeling. I said the words, "I am ready to be taught, I am ready to learn". That sentence is important.
A few weeks later, Lisa Martin stopped me at church. The kids were all clamoring around me and I wasn't really paying attention to our conversation. She had told me that she had a book that she really wanted to share with me. She said that she felt like I would benefit from reading it. I nodded politely, but at this point I wasn't really engaged. But, then she said to me, "Ralae, I felt impressed by the Holy Ghost that Heavenly Father knows you're ready to be taught, He feels you are ready to learn." Now she had my attention. I knew that those words weren't a coincidence, but that Heavenly Father was trying to get me to pay attention to this very direct answer to prayer. Through Lisa, the Holy Ghost was able to communicate with me using the same sentence that I had used in my very emotional prayer. Needless to say, I went that very day to my in laws house and borrowed the book she had told me about. It was Talmage's Articles of Faith. That book started me on a faith-filled journey of self-discovery. There were months and months of praying, months of reading books and pouring over talks and many scriptures. Baby step after baby step, one thing led to another, and finally the road led me to the term Spiritual Gifts. The spirit communicated with me that my spiritual gifts were the key to unlocking my eternal identity. My spiritual gifts are unique to me, they have been apart of me throughout eternity, and if I use them and magnify them, my spiritual gifts will help me fulfill my life's mission and reach my potential. After all, isn't that the very thing I had been desiring all along?
Now that my prayers had more direction, I began to search out my talents and gifts. This is a fun discovery process! I tried to use my gifts to serve my Savior each and every day. And, at the end of every day, I would self-reflect on how I had done with serving Him. I came to realize that the challenge given by President Nelson was a life-long challenge for me. To know who I was before I came to earth, was perhaps a journey of puzzle pieces. As I search and study, I collect these puzzle pieces. It's my goal that as my mortal life comes to a close, the picture will be more complete.
Back to the patriarchal blessing portion of this entry.
So, I had some really amazing spiritual experiences along my prayer journey. However, the original source that I went to, my blessing, I still carried some of those negative feelings with me. I cried whenever I expressed those feelings to those I trusted with them. It was time to revisit that part of the equation. I spoke with a very wise and kind couple in my ward. He is the stake patriarch and his wife is so kind. I look up to the both of them and admire their wisdom, so when I decided to take my patriarchal blessing down from my imaginary shelf, I talked to them. After having done so, later that evening I read my blessing alongside my wonderful husband. It was a really insightful evening. We talked about it, I asked for his take on things.
One of things that bothered me about my blessing was how generic some of the words were. The word "things" is there in places, and there is a lot of council that is really good council, but it seemed as though it was good council for everybody. So, what was specific to me? Did Heavenly Father know me? Did He love me? As I write that, it seems so silly now. Of course He does! I feel it so strongly, I always have. As I reread my blessing alongside my husband, a few items stood out to us. The first is, I was very young when I received my blessing. I was 13. Some of the language that is used, even the word "things" seems to be a protection for me, for my innocence. It's language that is meant for a 13 year old.
The second item that I felt impressed upon my thoughts by the Spirit was this, there aren't many warnings spelled out for me because I didn't need warnings. One of my spiritual gifts is walking by faith. It is not difficult for me to do those small things that keep me on the right path. I read my scriptures, I pray, I have a testimony of the gospel and a deep relationship with my Savior. I walk in faith. I set enough boundaries for myself, it was not difficult for me to resist peer pressure. One of the only warnings in there is to be careful of what I see and hear. I have found this to be such a guiding light in my life. I can't easily shake bad media, it stays with me. So, when I am careful about what I see and hear, my spirit is not offended.
The third item is the amount of wonderful, great, awesome blessings that are promised to me. As I read about all of the wonderful blessings that the Lord has in store for me (many of which have already come to pass) I felt such an outpouring of love from my Father in Heaven. Most of my patriarchal blessing is blessings. I am blessed so much.
Fourth item: The interesting thing is that the answer that I sought way back in the beginning of this post was there all along. I was reading my scriptures the other night and I was pondering about spiritual gifts. For some reason, this part of my blessing never stood out to me before, but all of a sudden it rushed over me as I sat pondering. My mind was quiet and ready to learn. It was like a sunrise. The light started slowly and then grew to envelop my mind and spirit. In my blessing it says that I chose to come to earth at this time, I wanted to come to the earth when the gospel had been restored, a time in which so much wickedness was on this earth because I wanted to proclaim the gospel to the Lord's children and I wanted to help my Father accomplish much at this time. I wanted to help His children feel His love. I would proclaim to many that Heavenly Father loves them.
So, who was I before I came to this earth? I was a valiant soldier in the Lord's army. I was a missionary. I loved Him and wanted others to know Him. I loved my brothers and sisters enough to come to this earth when it was in so much commotion because I wanted to help them return to their Heavenly home. That's who I am. I also discovered that Heavenly Father must trust me. He trusted me to pick the time in which I was to live. He had confidence in me. He knew that I would walk by faith and search for Him in my every day moments. He knew that I would seek out spiritual experiences. He loves me. He loves me, and I am a valiant soldier in the Lord's army.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Friday, March 2, 2018
Mourning with Those that Mourn
I have come across countless examples of those who have lost someone very dear to them who believe that their loved one tries to reach out to them through an object or action of some kind to let them know that he/she is there with them. Maybe I'm not explaining that well. I'll give some examples.
My friend, Stacey, lost her nephew recently. The Garrison family believes that Hudson is making his presence known whenever they come across feathers. My sister in law lost her son, Gavin, and believes that hummingbirds are tender mercies letting her know that he is there watching over her. I have another friend who lost her mother. When she finds pennies in random places, she believes that her mother is telling her hi. Michelle explained it like this. It's not that she believes the hummingbird is Gavin, but just that it's a sign from Heaven that Gavin is still ever present in her life. These stories always have a background. For instance, after Gavin passed away, there was a green hummingbird (Gavin's favorite color was green) that stayed at the window near her for a very long time. She felt then Gavin's presence, and that hummingbird was comforting.
In the children's movie, Moana, the Grandmother tells Moana that after she dies, she hopes to come back as a stingray. Later on in the movie, her grandma passes away. At the same time, Moana has embarked on a difficult task and looks back across the ocean to her home. You can see in that moment that her faith in herself is faltering. She has been called to an impossible task and she glances back to the comforts of her home and she is mourning the loss of her grandmother. The music climaxes and we see a stingray swoop underneath her boat. The imagery is powerful! In our moments of desperation, our loved ones who have passed on before will be with us. Heavenly Father has promised us angels who will come to our aid. Moana goes on her journey. At another point, all seems lost. About to give up, more stingrays come, she turns around, and there is her grandma's spirit standing alongside of her. She communicates with her and promises Moana that she is with her. There's a third time that a stingray appears. After the impossible journey is accomplished and Moana is triumphant, she's seen with her family voyaging across the ocean. It's a happy ending. Everyone is rejoicing and happy. Moana reaches down to touch the water and a stingray swims up to her hand and allows her to touch it. The viewer is given the message that Grandma Nala is there in the happy moments too. The movie is a great example of what I am stumbling to say.
I wonder how things like this are orchestrated on the other side of the veil.
There must be something to all of these stories, because they are so plentiful. I'm not discrediting them at all, I believe that the spirit of the Holy Ghost has the power to comfort us in our times of need and that same Spirit has the power to communicate to our spirits how that comfort is to be received or through what. I believe Michelle when she says that the spirit communicated with her that somehow Gavin was able to share that hummingbird with her to comfort her. I don't know how it works, I would like to know someday.
I would hope that someday when I'm gone, it'll be something that reminds them of me. Like a happy flower or fiery sunset. I don't know, maybe it's something that happens more organically than that. What I do know is this: Jesus Christ has commanded us to comfort those that stand in need of comfort and mourn with those that mourn. I believe that this is an eternal principle. Our loved ones are anxiously engaged in our lives and comfort us in times when we need comfort. Somehow they're able to reach across the veil and do so in a very personal and spiritual way. Mourning with those that mourn is eternal.
My friend, Stacey, lost her nephew recently. The Garrison family believes that Hudson is making his presence known whenever they come across feathers. My sister in law lost her son, Gavin, and believes that hummingbirds are tender mercies letting her know that he is there watching over her. I have another friend who lost her mother. When she finds pennies in random places, she believes that her mother is telling her hi. Michelle explained it like this. It's not that she believes the hummingbird is Gavin, but just that it's a sign from Heaven that Gavin is still ever present in her life. These stories always have a background. For instance, after Gavin passed away, there was a green hummingbird (Gavin's favorite color was green) that stayed at the window near her for a very long time. She felt then Gavin's presence, and that hummingbird was comforting.
In the children's movie, Moana, the Grandmother tells Moana that after she dies, she hopes to come back as a stingray. Later on in the movie, her grandma passes away. At the same time, Moana has embarked on a difficult task and looks back across the ocean to her home. You can see in that moment that her faith in herself is faltering. She has been called to an impossible task and she glances back to the comforts of her home and she is mourning the loss of her grandmother. The music climaxes and we see a stingray swoop underneath her boat. The imagery is powerful! In our moments of desperation, our loved ones who have passed on before will be with us. Heavenly Father has promised us angels who will come to our aid. Moana goes on her journey. At another point, all seems lost. About to give up, more stingrays come, she turns around, and there is her grandma's spirit standing alongside of her. She communicates with her and promises Moana that she is with her. There's a third time that a stingray appears. After the impossible journey is accomplished and Moana is triumphant, she's seen with her family voyaging across the ocean. It's a happy ending. Everyone is rejoicing and happy. Moana reaches down to touch the water and a stingray swims up to her hand and allows her to touch it. The viewer is given the message that Grandma Nala is there in the happy moments too. The movie is a great example of what I am stumbling to say.
I wonder how things like this are orchestrated on the other side of the veil.
There must be something to all of these stories, because they are so plentiful. I'm not discrediting them at all, I believe that the spirit of the Holy Ghost has the power to comfort us in our times of need and that same Spirit has the power to communicate to our spirits how that comfort is to be received or through what. I believe Michelle when she says that the spirit communicated with her that somehow Gavin was able to share that hummingbird with her to comfort her. I don't know how it works, I would like to know someday.
I would hope that someday when I'm gone, it'll be something that reminds them of me. Like a happy flower or fiery sunset. I don't know, maybe it's something that happens more organically than that. What I do know is this: Jesus Christ has commanded us to comfort those that stand in need of comfort and mourn with those that mourn. I believe that this is an eternal principle. Our loved ones are anxiously engaged in our lives and comfort us in times when we need comfort. Somehow they're able to reach across the veil and do so in a very personal and spiritual way. Mourning with those that mourn is eternal.
Contention, My Thoughts on the Matter
Luke 12:3
“Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.”
D&C Section 1:2 For verily the voice of the Lord is unto all men, and there is none to escape; and there is no eye that shall not see, neither ear that shall not hear, neither heart that shall not be penetrated.
3 And the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed.
4 And the voice of warning shall be unto all people, by the mouths of my disciples, whom I have chosen in these last days.
Who knew that social media social media would play in the last days. Literally, our works are shouted from the rooftops whether they be good or evil. Our homes declare our works. I've been very distraught by the amount of contention that exists on the internet. Both sides are guilty of contention. I've seen it everywhere, on every site (except for the sites owned by the Church), about nearly every topic. Yesterday, I was very sad when I saw a post on our neighborhood Facebook page. A family in our neighborhood, who are not members of our faith, were mourning the loss of their son. Their son was the fifth confirmed suicide at Queen Creek High School in less than a year's time. They're calling it an epidemic. This family decided to hold a candle light vigil on the Hastings Farms soccer field. It was announced on Facebook and someone responded that the family may need to get permission from the HOA to hold such an event. I read her comment as one of concern about parking and police being called out, not that she didn't want the vigil held there. People in the neighborhood felt differently and bullied her relentlessly about it. Several mean and hateful comments were made to her, and she acted defensively. It got bad enough that the post was taken down by the one who wrote it originally. I was sad to see that I had recognized some of the names as people from our ward. Contention is not of the Lord, rather it's a tool of the adversary. No matter how righteous the cause, contention is rarely, if ever the answer. Contentious words do not change hearts, it does not invoke useful conversation. This was on my mind as I read my scriptures yesterday. Ironically, I was on Alma 47. Amalickiah was a wicked man who had obtained the kingdom by fraud and deceit. He had gone up to battle place to place until he was recognized as king throughout the land. At the end of the chapter, it recounts the character of the dissenters of the Nephites. Having the full knowledge of the gospel, and having been instructed in the ways of the Lord, after they had dissented, they had become even more ferocious and wicked than any of the Lamanites. They had completely forgotten the Lord their God. We see that so often today. Those who have fallen away after having been blessed and endowed in the temple, they seem to not be able to leave members of the church alone. They become anti-"Mormon" and seem to desire to destroy the testimonies of those who belong to the church. Perhaps this isn't always the case, but I have seen it many times over the past few years. Once they decide to leave the church, it does not take very long for them to adopt the ways of the world and become a very hardened people.
After Amalickiah is made king, he cannot leave the people of Nephi alone. He stirs his own people up to anger against the Nephites, so much so that they go to battle against them with the desire to bring them all into bondage.
Meanwhile, Moroni is fortifying his people. It says in verse 7 that Moroni had been preparing the minds of his people to be faithful to God and his commandments. So, not only was he fortifying his people in a physical sense, ie their boundaries and lands, but he was encouraging them to fortify themselves spiritually. He was uniting them in Christ.
Likewise, in our day, the enemy of all, Satan, is stirring as many of Heavenly Father's children as he can into anger, and contention through deceit and fraud. Our prophet is encouraging us to not be contentious but to be as Christ, showing charity and compassion to those around us who may try to anger us. Contention divides, love unites. No wonder the Book of Mormon was written for our day.
Thursday, March 1, 2018
Can't Remember How to Post Pictures, But I Am Posting Happenings Anyway...
Hi everyone,
The purpose of this blog has always been to give my posterity a glimpse into our lives and to testify that I know the gospel is true. It also serves the purpose of recording memories of my children so that I may remember what a joy it is to be a mom. I'll go ahead and shoot off some things that I want to remember, but there are also some things of a spiritual nature that I'd like to record if I have the time.
Joshua: What a sweet boy you are. You befriended a kid at school who has no friends and you really, genuinely try to be a good friend to him. You gave him one of your toys yesterday because you wanted to serve Jesus by serving him. You are patient with your younger siblings even if it means that you will be treated unfairly. You are so kind. You are so thoughtful. You are aware of those around you. Many times when I am having a difficult time with one of your younger siblings, you stop what you are doing and you give me a long hug. No words, just hugs. What a great husband you will make someday! The other night I found you immersed in your scriptures You were reading the war chapters in the book of Alma and you found them fascinating. You and your brothers and sisters love family scripture study and FHE. You love writing comic books and you're good at it too!
Mercedes: What a big heart you have. The other day you came up to me in tears because you are a white person and white people used to have slaves. It worried me because I have seen a trend in our society where white people are blamed for past generations transgressions and it is the tip of the ice burg. I was worried someone or a teacher said something that made you feel that way. You're dad is amazing at stuff like this and he talked to you about the history of slavery and how people of all colors throughout the generations of time have had slaves and how slavery has always been wrong. He quoted you the article of faith that says, "we believe that man must be punished for their owns sins and not for Adam's transgressions". He reassured you that Heavenly Father made you perfectly and that you ought never to be ashamed of who you are. He is so great with you and you love him so much. The other day you told dad that your favorite part of the day was when he got home. You love art and I should let you do art more often with me. Why don't I let you? I should. You are a rule keeper and you want everyone around you to keep the rules too. You're learning to not tattle so much. But, you know what? I trust you so much! I trust you because you tell on yourself if you make a mistake and I know how much you try to choose the right. You are a wonderful child who is growing too fast. I hope you always know how much I love you. I love that you created a writing class for Hannah and Jazzy. They look up to you. Be patient with Hannah and someday you will have a best friend who will be by your side through the toughest of times.
Luke: What a cutie you are. You are close to the spirit and give powerful testimonies. Last fast Sunday you said something like this: "At the end of the last days, men's hearts shall fail them. Men means women and children too, and fail means that they will be very afraid when it starts raining fire from the sky. But, when it starts raining fire we don't have to be afraid, we can be brave and have courage if we believe in Jesus Christ. We can be brave when it starts raining fire from the sky if we believe in Jesus". I loved hearing your testimony. You are so smart and close to the spirit. You draw upon life's examples to build your testimony and your belief in our Savior. You love wrestling Joshua and you go all out on him. You're lucky that he lets you. You're super strong for your age and you can push up from a head stand into a hand stand. You love me so much and value our time together. You are helpful and like to be in on all of the action whether it's helping me cook, pull weeds, or carry in the groceries. You value your time with me and I like that about you. I hope you always stay close to the spirit and strive to do what is right. The other day at school, both you and Joshua were exposed to pornography. Both of you knew what to do. Both of you called it what it was and looked away and you came home and told me about it. I have confidence that you kids will do just fine in this wicked and confused world that we live in, so long as you pray and read your scriptures, strive to go to the temple and follow your Savior's example.
Hannah: You are a ray of sunshine dancing your way through life. You bring glitter with you and make all things sparkle and shine with spunk and personality. You love making friends with everyone and you're kind. Sometimes you have a hard time controlling your emotions, but you usually that's when you are tired or hungry. Kindergarten will be lucky to have you next year and I'll be a little jealous that they get to have you all day. You love your mommy time and like to crawl up into my lap whenever you get a chance. Sometimes I worry that I don't read to you enough. I probably don't. I'll try harder. You love Mercedes and look up to her. You said the other day that you wanted to grow up to be just like Mercedes because she is so pretty. I have two very beautiful girls on the inside and out. I love your love for life. I love how you hear music in your head and dance around like nobody's watching. I love how much you love gymnastics. I hope you're always so happy and quirky.
Cubby: Caleb, you are a funny kid. You love to "fight" with Joshua and daddy. Most days it's the first thing you ask them when you see them. They're good to oblige most of the time. Joshua taught you how to rip your shirt off and bang your chest before you fight. You like to completely clear the floor of everything before the fight begins. It's cute. Joshua said that he was a T-Rex dinosaur when you were fighting and you corrected him and said, "No! You are a chicken nugget dinosaur!" Your nuggets are shaped like dinosaurs. :) The other day you were with Daddy when he was gun shopping. Daddy held up a gun to see how it felt if he were shooting it. You saw the deer head mounted on the wall and it did look like daddy was aiming for it. You said, "No! No, daddy! Don't shoot the reindeer!" You also sing your abc's like this: abcdefghijklmpoopandpee. It makes me smile.
Jon Mark: You do such a great job loving us and providing for us. I am such a fortunate girl to be blessed with such a great husband. It still feels like are newly wed years except only better. I feel so close to you, loving you is easy, I don't even have to try. That says a lot about your character and who you are. You are my rock, you are my soft place to land. You sacrifice so much to make all of my dreams come true. I am living the dream. I love you!
Me: I just finished running my second half marathon race. We ran a 9:30 mile the who time pretty much. I can run four miles with a 7:35 mile, so I didn't really prepare for this race other than running every other day and staying really fast. So, when we slowed it down to 9:30, I felt pretty good the whole time until mile 11. My lungs didn't quit but my legs were spasming. I sprinted across the finish line and gave two heel clicks though. I wouldn't be surprised if my heel click ended up on the PHO Marathon fb page. Haha! I love life, I love my husband, I love the kids. Most of all I love my Savior and His gospel. For without it, none of my greatest blessings would be possible. I'll save my spiritual posts that I have been thinking about for tomorrow. I'm all out of time for today.
*I need to remember to write about: patriarchal blessing, boy in the neighborhood who joined scouts, thoughts on mourning with those that mourn.
The purpose of this blog has always been to give my posterity a glimpse into our lives and to testify that I know the gospel is true. It also serves the purpose of recording memories of my children so that I may remember what a joy it is to be a mom. I'll go ahead and shoot off some things that I want to remember, but there are also some things of a spiritual nature that I'd like to record if I have the time.
Joshua: What a sweet boy you are. You befriended a kid at school who has no friends and you really, genuinely try to be a good friend to him. You gave him one of your toys yesterday because you wanted to serve Jesus by serving him. You are patient with your younger siblings even if it means that you will be treated unfairly. You are so kind. You are so thoughtful. You are aware of those around you. Many times when I am having a difficult time with one of your younger siblings, you stop what you are doing and you give me a long hug. No words, just hugs. What a great husband you will make someday! The other night I found you immersed in your scriptures You were reading the war chapters in the book of Alma and you found them fascinating. You and your brothers and sisters love family scripture study and FHE. You love writing comic books and you're good at it too!
Mercedes: What a big heart you have. The other day you came up to me in tears because you are a white person and white people used to have slaves. It worried me because I have seen a trend in our society where white people are blamed for past generations transgressions and it is the tip of the ice burg. I was worried someone or a teacher said something that made you feel that way. You're dad is amazing at stuff like this and he talked to you about the history of slavery and how people of all colors throughout the generations of time have had slaves and how slavery has always been wrong. He quoted you the article of faith that says, "we believe that man must be punished for their owns sins and not for Adam's transgressions". He reassured you that Heavenly Father made you perfectly and that you ought never to be ashamed of who you are. He is so great with you and you love him so much. The other day you told dad that your favorite part of the day was when he got home. You love art and I should let you do art more often with me. Why don't I let you? I should. You are a rule keeper and you want everyone around you to keep the rules too. You're learning to not tattle so much. But, you know what? I trust you so much! I trust you because you tell on yourself if you make a mistake and I know how much you try to choose the right. You are a wonderful child who is growing too fast. I hope you always know how much I love you. I love that you created a writing class for Hannah and Jazzy. They look up to you. Be patient with Hannah and someday you will have a best friend who will be by your side through the toughest of times.
Luke: What a cutie you are. You are close to the spirit and give powerful testimonies. Last fast Sunday you said something like this: "At the end of the last days, men's hearts shall fail them. Men means women and children too, and fail means that they will be very afraid when it starts raining fire from the sky. But, when it starts raining fire we don't have to be afraid, we can be brave and have courage if we believe in Jesus Christ. We can be brave when it starts raining fire from the sky if we believe in Jesus". I loved hearing your testimony. You are so smart and close to the spirit. You draw upon life's examples to build your testimony and your belief in our Savior. You love wrestling Joshua and you go all out on him. You're lucky that he lets you. You're super strong for your age and you can push up from a head stand into a hand stand. You love me so much and value our time together. You are helpful and like to be in on all of the action whether it's helping me cook, pull weeds, or carry in the groceries. You value your time with me and I like that about you. I hope you always stay close to the spirit and strive to do what is right. The other day at school, both you and Joshua were exposed to pornography. Both of you knew what to do. Both of you called it what it was and looked away and you came home and told me about it. I have confidence that you kids will do just fine in this wicked and confused world that we live in, so long as you pray and read your scriptures, strive to go to the temple and follow your Savior's example.
Hannah: You are a ray of sunshine dancing your way through life. You bring glitter with you and make all things sparkle and shine with spunk and personality. You love making friends with everyone and you're kind. Sometimes you have a hard time controlling your emotions, but you usually that's when you are tired or hungry. Kindergarten will be lucky to have you next year and I'll be a little jealous that they get to have you all day. You love your mommy time and like to crawl up into my lap whenever you get a chance. Sometimes I worry that I don't read to you enough. I probably don't. I'll try harder. You love Mercedes and look up to her. You said the other day that you wanted to grow up to be just like Mercedes because she is so pretty. I have two very beautiful girls on the inside and out. I love your love for life. I love how you hear music in your head and dance around like nobody's watching. I love how much you love gymnastics. I hope you're always so happy and quirky.
Cubby: Caleb, you are a funny kid. You love to "fight" with Joshua and daddy. Most days it's the first thing you ask them when you see them. They're good to oblige most of the time. Joshua taught you how to rip your shirt off and bang your chest before you fight. You like to completely clear the floor of everything before the fight begins. It's cute. Joshua said that he was a T-Rex dinosaur when you were fighting and you corrected him and said, "No! You are a chicken nugget dinosaur!" Your nuggets are shaped like dinosaurs. :) The other day you were with Daddy when he was gun shopping. Daddy held up a gun to see how it felt if he were shooting it. You saw the deer head mounted on the wall and it did look like daddy was aiming for it. You said, "No! No, daddy! Don't shoot the reindeer!" You also sing your abc's like this: abcdefghijklmpoopandpee. It makes me smile.
Jon Mark: You do such a great job loving us and providing for us. I am such a fortunate girl to be blessed with such a great husband. It still feels like are newly wed years except only better. I feel so close to you, loving you is easy, I don't even have to try. That says a lot about your character and who you are. You are my rock, you are my soft place to land. You sacrifice so much to make all of my dreams come true. I am living the dream. I love you!
Me: I just finished running my second half marathon race. We ran a 9:30 mile the who time pretty much. I can run four miles with a 7:35 mile, so I didn't really prepare for this race other than running every other day and staying really fast. So, when we slowed it down to 9:30, I felt pretty good the whole time until mile 11. My lungs didn't quit but my legs were spasming. I sprinted across the finish line and gave two heel clicks though. I wouldn't be surprised if my heel click ended up on the PHO Marathon fb page. Haha! I love life, I love my husband, I love the kids. Most of all I love my Savior and His gospel. For without it, none of my greatest blessings would be possible. I'll save my spiritual posts that I have been thinking about for tomorrow. I'm all out of time for today.
*I need to remember to write about: patriarchal blessing, boy in the neighborhood who joined scouts, thoughts on mourning with those that mourn.
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