Elder Bednar's Talk

I was reading my scriptures two nights ago and came across this talk. The church is often criticized for having old men as apostles. People complain that these "these old men are old fashioned and out of touch" or, "that we need to get some young people put into the 12 so that the church can move forward with the times". I believe that age is not what makes the church wonderful, rather the fact that the Lord is at the head of it and that these wonderful men, although many may be categorized as "old" follow the Lord's direction. 

I really enjoyed this talk. There is so much that can be learned from these great men that I look up to. They have a vast amount of experience in matters of the spirit as well as life experience in general. This is an excerpt from that talk. This is my favorite part of the message.

I speak about this topic from a decidedly distinctive perspective. For the last 11 years, I have been the youngest member of the Twelve in terms of chronological age. During my years of service, the average age of the men serving in the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has been 77 years—the oldest average age of the Apostles over an 11-year interval in this dispensation.

I have been blessed by the collective apostolic, personal, and professional experience and insight of the quorum members with whom I serve. An example from my association with Elder Robert D. Hales highlights the remarkable opportunities I have to learn from and serve with these leaders.

Several years ago I spent a Sunday afternoon with Elder Hales in his home as he was recovering from a serious illness. We discussed our families, our quorum responsibilities, and important experiences.

At one point I asked Elder Hales, “You have been a successful husband, father, athlete, pilot, business executive, and Church leader. What lessons have you learned as you have grown older and been constrained by decreased physical capacity?”

Elder Hales paused for a moment and responded, “When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.”

I was struck by the simplicity and comprehensiveness of his answer. My beloved apostolic associate shared with me a lesson of a lifetime—a lesson learned through the crucible of physical suffering and spiritual searching.

When we cannot do what we have always done, that's when we do what matters most. I like this thought because it shows us how how trials can help us zero in on the most important portions of our lives. Usually, our perspective changes to focus on family, faith, and love. Because that is truly what the Lord is most concerned about. If we can put our focus and our energy into those three things, everything else will work out. 

TV Console

I wanted a project, Jon Mark told me I could spend $100 on creating a TV stand. Believe it or not, this is $100 worth of lumber. It doesn't get you much nowadays. I am happy with the way it turned out. It was fun for me to do. I didn't follow any plans. I kind of just made it up as I went. I didn't measure with measuring tape at all, I was careful and I did measure unconventionally. It turned out exactly right with the exception of a couple millimeters gap on one side that I fixed with wood putty. You'd never know. I don't think I will ever be a perfectionist. I don't like the stress that comes with perfectionism. I am a finisher.

Cousins and Truces

Milton Haws's family came into town for a funeral. We haven't seen each other in such a long time and regretfully, feelings have been hurt on both sides over political and religious views. I was thankful for the opportunity to forgive and show an increase in love. We got together three times while they were here and it was enjoyable. I hope we can see each other sooner that a decade or so this next time around.

Joshua and Caleb

Joshua got a nasty staph infection. It was so gross! These are his fingers. It was also on his mouth and legs.

Caleb doesn't have a staph infection, that is why his fingers are so chubby and cute, but that's not why I took the picture. Caleb had discovered his funny looking faces in the curved doorknob and I was trying to get a picture of it. He was quite amused.

Painting

I painted this picture and call it "Lead Me, Guide Me". It's faceless and backwards 'cuz that's what I do.

Just Dance

I discovered the coolest thing on the internet. Unlimited uploads of Just Dance. It is awesome and so much fun. It's great exercise! I do it almost every day. The kids love it too. In these pictures, cousins were over and played along with us. There is one dance that mimics fighters and the characters take off their shirts to show that they mean business. All of the boys, along with Hannah and Evelyn took their shirt off as well. Poor Mercedes. She knows about modesty and that would just not be very modest. She sat on the couch with Jessica during this photo shoot.

Luke, Hannah, Caleb, and Jazmine

Luke, Hannah, Caleb, and Jazmine keep me busy while the other two are at school.

Sometimes, we venture to Costco, and most of the time my mom accompanies us because she feels bad for me... that I have to go with 4 kids under the age of 4. The kids love playing in this set up play house when we are there. There is an easy chair right across from it (where I am sitting) and so sometimes I just take a break and let them play for a minute. We attract a lot of attention when we are out. I get a lot of sympathetic looks, laughs, and annoyed expressions. You can tell quite a bit about someone when you put them around noisy toddlers. Most people are nice, others are cranky, and more often then not, people will tell me how brave I am. I tell them that I have two more in school and then I get some really dramatic expressions!

This is a random picture of one of the most stunning sunsets I have ever seen. The picture doesn't do it justice, it was extraordinary. It was so beautiful, I had to pull over (along with a few other cars) to snap a picture on my phone. I sent it to Leyla and told her I was thinking of Andy.

This little guy is so cute. Today he instinctively turned around and went down the stairs backwards (I was right in front of him just in case). He made it down an entire flight of stairs without falling. When he started to feel like he might fall, he grabbed onto the carpet and readjusted. He's a smarty for sure. He went about a week refusing to nurse. I balled my eyes out for three days straight. Every time someone asked me about it, I cried some more. It is literally heart breaking! My heart can hardly stand it. I cried in my prayers and prayed that he would nurse a little longer, and now I am pleased to say that he is nursing again. It is not as many times a day as I would like, we are down to 3, but I will take it without complaint. :) He enjoys snuggling if I face him outward and let him suck his thumb.

This is a painting I did of me nursing Caleb. I call it 3 am. The 3 am feeding brings with it a stillness and peace that is unique. I need sleep, I want sleep, but I am happy and content to feed my baby while the rest of the household is dreaming. It's a tender moment between Caleb and I. And, now that he isn't biting me anymore, it's even more peaceful.

This little girl is my buddy twice a week. She's a trooper and enjoys cuddles. On this particular day, she emptied my dirty clothes hamper over and over again. She grabbed Mercedes dress and put it on like a cape and wore it all around the house.

I think I was capturing his odd smile in these pictures. His side tooth came in a long time before his other teeth and looked a little funny.

Do you see it?

Hannah wanted to take some pictures, so we did. She likes seeing herself and this will keep her entertained on days when she is grumpy. That, and a nice hot bubble bath... The other day she got really mad at me. She marched over to me and shook her finger and me and curled her lip and furrowed her brow. She said, "Mom, I am very mad at you!" While she said it, she choked back the tears. Then, she said, "You will die, for-ev-eh!" She said forever in almost a growl. It was as creepy as it sounds, haha! I don't know where she got that from. She also puts her hands up next to her eyes and opens and closes them while cackling like a witch and tells me she is a witch. She blames Joshua for everything. The other day she pooped on the floor. I discovered it and exclaimed, "who pooped on the floor?" knowing full well who had. Without skipping a beat, she pointed at Joshua and said, "Joshua did it!" The kids thought that was hilarious and laughed, so now Joshua gets blamed for everything!

Luke is my little man. He is loyal to me still. The other day he did a made up game between Jon Mark and I. Every time the game went in Jon Mark's favor, he would change the rules so that I would win. He's such a good boy. He was sneaking candy recently. I caught him and he had tears welling up in his eyes. He felt so remorseful and told me that tomorrow he would not be sneaky anymore.

Luke wouldn't give me any normal smiles. 

Day By Day

Recently, my dad and mom discovered a song that they want to use as our extended Haws family anthem. The song is one that I have never heard before, and today I tried finding it on the internet, and the words are very different from the version my dad is using (although the author is the same--Karolina "Lina" Sandell-Berg). I wanted an easy "copy and paste" action, but that isn't going to happen. I wonder if my dad knows where he got his lyrics from.

I really like the tune of it, and the words are beautiful. The author, known as Lina to her friends, wrote this hymn after she had experienced a great tragedy in her life. At 26 years old, she was crossing a lake in Sweden when the boat she was on gave a sudden lurch and her father fell off in front of her and drowned. She is said to have believed, like other Christians, that in moments of darkness, pain, and trial, the Lord uses those moments to build faith in Him. So, staying true to this belief, she penned many hymns that are meant to be sung in times of trial, like this one.

Here is the song, Day by Day, the version that is attributed to Lina, and the version that my dad is using.

Let me live in moment after moment, let me truly trust thee day by day. Let me not forget Thou art my Father. Let me live by every word Thou sayest. Every trial Thou hast for me constructed, and hast given me the strength I need. Even when I cannot see tomorrow, may I pay Thy counsel every heed.

I will walk the way Thou hast commanded, even when the way is dark ahead. When I fear, and when my spirit weakens I will trust in all that Thou hast said. I will praise Thee for Thy loving kindness, I will surely place my hand in Thine. I will not be worried for tomorrow, for I know that all Thou hast in mine.

Day by day I feel my spirit strengthen, so that I can help my fellow man. Let me see another's pain and sorrow so that I may help as best I can. May I keep my hand in Thine my Father, may I take each step with trust in Thee. May I keep each one of Thy commandments, that in Heaven Thou canst welcome me.

We have sung this song a few times now, and it was okay, but last night felt very different. I think it was because we were singing it with all of our kids with us. It was a moment of reverence. I don't think anybody noticed, but I did feel a surge of the spirit as we sang it. For a moment, I looked around me and I saw people that I love sitting in my comfortable home, surrounded by modest luxuries of our day (i.e. air conditioning/heating, electricity, plush couches, indoor plumbing and technology). We sang a song about maintaining faith in the face of darkness and chaos. We sang about placing our trust in our Heavenly Father when the way in unknown. We sang about placing our hand in His, just as a child might do so to be led by his father.

So, as I looked around me, suddenly I could see, rather feel, how committed I was to the gospel. For a moment or two, I saw my family sitting close to one another and singing the same song, and yet our surroundings were starkly different. We weren't in a comfortable home, this time we were singing while being surrounded by desolation and destruction. All around us there was darkness and mourning. "Fire" was raining down from the sky, although I am not sure if it was bombings or meteors. We weren't afraid, we were at peace. It seemed as though the time was at hand that had been so prophesied about. The "great and dreadful" day of the Lord was near. But, we were at peace because of where we had placed our faith and our trust. Our hands were placed in His, His ever capable, ever guiding and loving hands. I felt this for a moment while we sang, and I wasn't sure of the meaning of it. I am not about to pretend that I beheld a vision. It wasn't visual, it was more of a feeling that impressed such thoughts upon my mind for a moment or two. But, it did leave a lasting impression upon me to stir me up into asking about what it meant. Would it happen as I had seen it? Was it literal? Or was it just a thought that didn't necessarily mean anything?

Today I have been studying the second coming and the events leading up to it. We know that destruction will occur, we know that the whole earth will be in chaos. We see it all around us, even now it is at our doors. We haven't seen the worst that the wicked will face, just as we haven't seen the best that is yet to be for the righteous. But, it certainly feels as though the scenes are winding up. The pieces have been placed on the board and all is beginning to move in motion. Prophesies are coming to pass. It is happening. I have come to the conclusion that I don't know if what I saw/felt was literal or not. But, I think what I was supposed to gain from the experience is that no matter what happens in the future, all will be okay for the righteous. We need to place our hands in His and trust in Him always. Wars may abound, and the mighty may fall, but if we proceed with faith and courage, all that He has will be ours.  

D&C 43:25 How oft have I called upon you by the mouth of my servants, and by the ministering of angels, and by mine own voice, and by the voice of thunderings, and by the voice of lightnings, and by the voice of tempests, and by the voice of earthquakes, and great hailstorms, and by the voice of famines and pestilences of every kind, and by the great sound of a trump, and by the voice of judgment, and by the voice of mercy all the day long, and by the voice of glory and honor and the riches of eternal life, and would have saved you with an everlasting salvation, but ye would not!

 26 Behold, the day has come, when the cup of the wrath of mine indignation is full.

 27 Behold, verily I say unto you, that these are the words of the Lord your God.

 28 Wherefore, labor ye, labor ye in my vineyard for the last time—for the last time call upon the inhabitants of the earth.

 29 For in mine own due time will I come upon the earth in judgment, and my people shall be redeemed and shall reign with me on earth.

 30 For the great Millennium, of which I have spoken by the mouth of my servants, shall come.

 31 For Satan shall be bound, and when he is loosed again he shall only reign for a little season, and then cometh the end of the earth.

 32 And he that liveth in righteousness shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye, and the earth shall pass away so as by fire.

 33 And the wicked shall go away into unquenchable fire, and their end no man knoweth on earth, nor ever shall know, until they come before me in judgment.

 34 Hearken ye to these words. Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world. Treasure these things up in your hearts, and let the solemnities of eternity rest upon your minds.

 35 Be sober. Keep all my commandments. Even so. Amen.

Family Pictures

Here are a few of the pictures my parents had done this past month. I love the way they turned out!!

Christmas Morning