Being Taught

Elder Packer passed away recently. Before he died, he requested that certain excepts of his be published in the Liahona magazine after he died. Lds.org had published it also, and I read it the other night for scripture study. 

I don't want to say too much on something so sacred here on the internet, suffice it to say, when I read the paragraph below, I felt the witness of the Holy Ghost whisper to my heart that the twelve apostles work closely with the Lord. I was reminded in a very personal and sincere way that the Lord, Jesus Christ, directs His church. The twelve apostles are special witnesses, and what makes them special? I think that the answer to that question is clearly stated in the following excerpt.

“After all the years that I have lived and taught and served, after the millions of miles I have traveled around the world, with all that I have experienced, there is one great truth that I would share. That is my witness of the Savior Jesus Christ.

“Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon recorded the following after a sacred experience:

“‘And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

“‘For we saw him’ (D&C 76:22–23).

“Their words are my words.”⁶

“How privileged I have been throughout my life to be able to bear my special witness that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God. I testify in all humility, but with absolute certainty, that He is the Only Begotten of the Father. This is His Church; He presides over it and directs this work. He is our Redeemer. I know He lives, and I know Him. Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”⁷

After reading that, I was filled with a stronger sense of conviction that I belong to the true church. Reading that testimony helped me see more clearly that Christ really does exist. He is there, and He knows me and loves me. So much gratitude entered my heart. I went up to by bedroom and knelt for my nightly prayer. As I prayed, something very tangible happened to me. I could feel the Spirit testify to me about the truthfulness of certain things. It was like the sun rising on the horizon. Little by little, the darkness was consumed by light. One thought after another was placed in my mind, quickly and assuredly. 

First, and foremost, I was grateful. I was grateful to my Savior for atoning for my sins. I desired to be made perfect, to put off the natural man (something that I am always trying to do, and yet falter at so many times). The Holy Ghost bore witness to me of the truthfulness of the atonement, and I felt so grateful for the redeeming power that the act of the atonement offers me. I always think of the atonement in terms of Christ suffering for our sins and sorrows, but at that moment I understood the "why". And the "why" is progression. He loves us, and He wants us to progress. Without the ability to repent, without the ability to triumph over our fallen state, we would be doomed. Our progression would be halted. But, because He atoned for our sins and He suffered our sorrows, we are not doomed. We are saved! And, we are promised all that the Father has, so long as we are faithful. Progression through eternity brings to us His blessings. 

Secondly, I was taught about the Plan of Salvation and that it is truly a plan of happiness. My posterity brings me joy. My relationship with Jon Mark brings me so much happiness. Being a wife and a mother is so important to me and because of our Heavenly Father's plan, I will have the opportunity to continue in those two callings throughout eternity. I want this so desperately. My heart yearns for eternal companionship with my love, and continued relationships with my children. I also have been desiring to know more strongly that I will be able to have babies again in the eternities, that my days snuggling my own newborn babies aren't behind me. I know it may seem silly, but knowing that Caleb is my last baby breaks my heart. It has weighed heavily upon my mind. I have always been taught, and I kind of knew, but I wanted to be at peace concerning the matter. I have been praying for peace, and further knowledge. I feel like my prayer was answered. The Spirit taught me, that because of the atonement, I will have the opportunity to create spirit children. I was reminded of the importance of making it to the highest level of Celestial Kingdom so that "all that the Father has" will be bestowed upon me. I am so grateful! I love my Father in Heaven and I am grateful that He loves us and wants to give us all the joy that He was. Family is where my joy is found.

Third, I pictured in my mind's eye that when I serve others, I am literally serving my Savior. This is something else that I have always been taught, and known, but I knew it so much more clearly while I prayed. I love Him so much, and to show Him that I love Him, I am to serve my fellow man. I was taught this so clearly in those moments of prayer. Since that day, I have tried to ask myself, how can I serve my Savior today? At the end of the day, I think over the day and ask myself if I was successful at serving Him at least once. This new way of thinking has taught me about compassion and charity. I hope to continue it. 

The experience is difficult to describe and perhaps I am unable to do so because it was a spiritual experience and oftentimes our imperfect language cannot always put into words things of the spirit. My sister in law, Michelle, says that it is difficult to describe a Celestial experience using Telestial words. She reminded me that the Holy Ghost acts as a translator for those experiences. When we bear testimony of our spiritual experiences, the Holy Ghosts helps others feel more completely what our words cannot say. Spirit to spirit, heart to heart, the Holy Ghost translates our experiences in a more perfect way. After my prayer, I felt so edified that I didn't want to forget anything. So, I grabbed my phone and I recorded some of my thoughts. I found myself pondering why it is difficult to keep that feeling and those thoughts with myself always. If I could always feel as I felt at that moment, perfection would surely be attainable because I was seeing with spiritual eyes, and they see things so much more clearly. My perspective was an eternal one. 

Stronger and edified, I am left with one goal, really the one goal I have always had or wanted--returning home to my Father in Heaven. 

The Kiddos

Luke loves his brother. That is such a small sentence for how I wish to describe it. Luke LOVES Caleb so much. Last week, Caleb was being loud in sacrament meeting so I took him to the foyer not knowing that Luke had followed on my heels. I sat on the couch and watched Luke carry Caleb all over the place, Caleb just kind of dangled from Luke's grasp, completely accustomed to such a task. He sucked his thumb with a content look on his face that seemed to say, "yup, here we go again." He feels confident in Luke's arms, though. Luke has never let him fall.

The kids have fun playing together on Sunday mornings. They build forts and chase each other. They make messes that I try to ignore, sometimes unsuccessfully.

Caleb has learned how to stand by furniture. It kind of freaks him out because he doesn't know how to get back down. So, he stands and cries until someone rescues him.

Our Night in Bethlehem

Our ward had a night in Bethlehem this year. It was very elaborate. I have to take pictures because I didn't think anybody would believe me otherwise. The pictures do not do it justice.

On every table, there were herbs and lemons and dipping oil. They brought out fresh bread on tree stumps with fresh humus.

There was one of these decorations for each family in the ward.

Tents were set up with draperies and palm leaves.

There was a manger scene set up on the stage for the live nativity. I served on the program committee.

Someone made a well for the water.

It was a great evening, even though it was difficult to manage the kids for that long. Events like this one are important for the kids to be apart of.

Arizona Temple

It's tradition to go to the temple lights every year at this time of year. We went with the Haws side. This is the largest our group has ever been and it was difficult trying to stay together in the crowd of people without losing anyone. We did a quick walk around the temple and then headed back to Grandma and Papa's house for hot cocoa. The kids had a lot of fun. Luke had a great time pretending to be a flying reindeer with the antlers Grandma let him wear. He was being so cute that she let him keep them. Unfortunately, they didn't last more than 24 hours. But, they were well-loved in that time period. Luke would ask us if we wanted to fly with him. Then, he'd have us line up behind him and he'd take off running. While running, he'd say things like, "Wow, we are high in the sky! All of the people look like ants down below!"

Mercedes loves wearing her pajamas whenever she gets the chance to do so. She also enjoyed her Santa hat. 

Joshua enjoyed looking at the lights and kept pointing out the laser beam lights and has convinced me that we need some for our house.

Hannah loves parties. She loves festivities. She was happy to be there even though she had fallen asleep on the ride to Grandma and Papa's.

Caleb donned his Santa suit. He looked so cute! He was such a good little guy. We kept him out late but he was able to stay in good spirits.

Jon Mark told the kids a story that lasted an hour and a half. It would be, to be continued, every time we stopped at a new location. The kids were very happy with his story telling skills. They told him that they wanted a story about a prince, a mermaid, and a merman. I think...  It was an intense plot! There were many battles to be won!

Last Year

Did I post these last year? I can't remember. I just found them. These were taken at the Haws Christmas party. Hannah has grown so much. 

Drawings To Remember

Mercedes and Joshua have had a hard time waking up for school in the mornings. I get it. I really do. Sometimes, I really do feel physical pain when I have to drag myself out of my warm bed. 

Mercedes and Joshua are always making notes for Jon Mark and I. They are so sweet. Mercedes mopped the floor for me yesterday because she wanted to show me that she loved me. The love note below is from Joshua. It was a picture of a war machine. How sweet is that?!

Luke likes drawing pictures of our family. Below are some of his latest renditions.

Here's a note from Mercedes. She is quite an artist.

Finally, this is a drawing I discovered on the floor one morning after Joshua and Mercedes left for school. Joshua apparently tried drawing the whole human family from Adam and Eve on down. Adam and Eve are labeled at the top. :-)

As of Late

This buddy crawls now. He also has stranger danger, the doctor looked at him and he buried his head into my neck and cried. It was so sad. I held him while we waited for the doctor and he snuggled me so perfectly. 

He likes to shake his head from side to side and it makes the kids laugh a lot. He also climbs the stairs. We had to put up the baby gate :( He is a small little guy. He is 25% for height. 50th % for weight, and his head is in the 90th %. He's probably very smart with such a big noggin. 

I can't remember if I posted this picture or not. Joshua got his first badges for cub scouts. He was so excited. He carried them everywhere so that he could show everyone, and then he lost them. I feel badly that they are gone. But, that is my boy. He loses things. He plays with things and builds awesome inventions with things around the house, but then they always go missing.

We played girl football the other day. It was fun. 

Mercedes and Joshua really got into it.

We let the kids sleep together every weekend. They snuggle up against each other and play until they fall asleep. Hannah was on the top bunk. They all wake up grouchy because they stay up too late. But, they love it so much. And, I love that they are bonding with each other and making memories. I think they will look back on these "sleepovers" with fondness in years to come. Although, I am not sure how much longer I can let them all sleep in the same bed.