Luke is a sensitive kid. He is sensitive to the needs of others, he is sensitive to the spirit, and his heart is big. He wants to be a gynecologist someday because he loves babies and wants to be the doctor who welcomes them into the world. Even after I explained what a gyno does (besides deliver babies), he still wants to be one. It is important to him that he gets to deliver babies, so much so that he doesn't care if he has to do the other stuff as well. I think he will make a great doctor. He will have excellent bed-side manner.
The other day he came into my room to talk to me alone. He said that his mind was filled with all sorts of emotions and he didn't know how to deal with them, he felt like the only way to turn off his brain was to fall asleep, but he couldn't. I asked him what was on his mind. There was so much!
The day before I had told him how babies were made. He had very misconstrued ideas about how the sperm got to the egg. He thought that the husband would tell his wife that the sperm was coming, the wife would open her legs and then the sperm would crawl in. It sounded to me like a horror movie. An X-rated horror movie. When he finally understood what I was telling him (mind you, I had told him in very plain terms all about the act of marriage and the law of chastity, I really don't know how he possibly could have misunderstood) he threw his hands up in the air and exclaimed very loudly how disgusted he was at the thought. And I thought, "well, he gets it now... that's the reaction that lets me know." He was worried because it sounded like breaking the commandments. We talked some more about how within the boundaries the Lord has set, the act of marriage is a huge blessing and gift from Heavenly Father.
The other thing that was on his mind was his prayers. His prayers had gotten really long because he felt he needed to name everyone by name and ask that Heavenly Father protected them all from kidnapping and getting hurt. Then, he felt like he had to ask all of his angels to surround the house and keep us safe. Then, he told me, "But, I don't just want the people in our family to be safe and the people I know to be safe. I want none of the kids in the world to get hurt. I want all children to be safe. But, I don't know all of their names, and I don't know how to make sure that Heavenly Father keeps them all safe." We talked about that. I gave him some suggestions on how I handle things like that in my prayers.
Then, he told me he was worried that Joshua and Caleb were forgetting to say their prayers at night. He reminds them over and over, and he thinks that they are lying to him about saying their prayers just so that he will stop reminding them. So, we talked about agency. I told him that mom and dad teach correct principles and give our children all of the tools of the gospel so that they can grow their testimonies and make good choices and return home to Heaven. But, our children still have their agency. We cannot force them to choose the right, they have to choose the right because they want to choose the right. I explained how Heavenly Father has given us the gift of agency so that we can progress, it is the only way that we can grow and learn. I explained to him that it is fine to remind his brothers one time to say their prayers, but that he ought to lead by example and love because that is more effective. I told him that I loved seeing his concern over his brothers, but ultimately the weight of their salvation does not rest upon his shoulders. Luckily we have a Savior who's atonement covers the breadth and depth of all that is necessary to gain salvation and exaltation.
Luke was also very concerned about the violence of the world, the sins of the world, and the catastrophes that we have all witnessed this year. This is difficult for me. On one hand, I want to shield my children from the yucky stuff and let them enjoy their innocence. But, on the other hand, if I don't teach them about how to avoid the dangers of the world, the world will teach them. The world will lead them straight into the dangers of pornography and sexual gratification. The world will teach them the world's values of homosexuality and atheism. The world will teach them that abortion is no big deal, and that democracy is old-fashioned and that we ought to be championing socialism and communism. The world will teach them to apologize for the color of their skin. The world will teach them to objectify themselves and that having any kind of moral base is silly and restrictive. I love my kids too much to let the world have them. I cannot childproof the world, but I can world-proof my children, and that happens through Come Follow Me and scripture study. It happens through open and honest dialogue in the safety of our home. I teach them by example, through the scriptures, and by telling them all about our Heavenly Father's plan for his children. If I don't teach them, the world will teach them through cartoons and music, through liberal teachers, and through peers at school. I told Luke that there is nothing he could say that would make me feel embarrassed, nothing he could do that would make me love him less, and nothing he could ask that would make me judge him. My job is to lead him through his struggles, answer his questions, protect him, guide him and love him. But, perhaps I need to focus more on the faith promoting experiences and less on violent current events and natural disasters that are happening around us. There is a balance that needs to be maintained.
I reminded Luke that Heavenly Father saved him specifically for this time because He had faith in Luke's resilience, valiant strength, and moral courage. He was blessed with spiritual gifts that will help him along on his journey. He is a soldier in the Lord's army and he is a choice son of God. We prayed together. I asked Heavenly Father to bless him and strengthen him and help him know his potential and strength.
I think I'll follow up in the next day or so. He seems happier today though. I think I will also suggest that he writes down his concerns and worries and writes down a list of people that he wants to bless and pray over.
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