Good Things in 2020

 2020 has been a whirlwind, that's for certain. The other day, I decided to look for the good things around me. Here are some of the things I noticed:

-I had to go to the post office to mail in some transcripts to the AZ department of Education. On the chance that school would eventually go back to in-person learning, I wanted to be prepared to apply as a substitute. This has always been a goal of mine. Once all of my kids became school-age, I had dreams of subbing in their classes part-time, and increasing my temple attendance to a weekly session. Well, it appears as though school is back to in-person learning, the kids start tomorrow, we shall see how long it lasts. However, the temples are still closed with the exception of some live ordinances. Anyway, all of that is a sub-note. I went to the post office and was feeling a little bit down about all that was going on in the world. I filled out the forms that I needed to, turned around and noticed that the line had gotten incredibly long. A man, who appeared to be a little rough around the edges, was standing right behind me. I turned to go to the back of the line and he stopped me. He said that he had noticed that I was there before anyone else, and that I ought to be next in line. He stepped aside to let me stand in front of him in the line. I started to decline his offer, not wanting others to feel as though I was cutting in line, but nobody seemed to mind. So, I thanked him, stood next in line to be called, and then eventually went on with the rest of the day. That experience was small, it was a tiny gesture. But, it taught me that small gestures like that can really help boost one's mood. I felt bad for judging his appearance. It made me want to look for small ways to help another person.

-We got to go to church for the first time in a long time a month ago (today was our second time back as a ward family--we go monthly to the church building and hold home church on the other Sundays). I was excited to go. I love home church, and I have found that my children have been very involved in the preparation, and execution of home church. I have found that their testimonies and knowledge of the scriptures have grown through this unique opportunity. It has been a very special experience to have the sacrament blessed and passed in our home. Yet, there's something about gathering together with other saints and learning and growing together, both in our friendships with one another, but also in our faith and spirituality. Elder Bednar gave a talk recently about the dangers of allowing the government to have the power to restrict religious services. He said that if we are no longer able to gather, over time the faithful with start to scatter. I can see that happening. So, when we were able to walk into the church building for the first time in five months a month ago (even if services were limited to 45 minutes, there would be no singing, members were encouraged to wear masks, and the ward was split into 4 different sessions of up to 50 people), I was so full of happiness. My emotions got the better of me and I had to fight to keep the tears from coming. The feeling surprised me. I'm so thankful for our ward family, and a beautiful church house to worship in, but most of all for the true gospel of Jesus Christ.

-Even though I sometimes I complain about how hard it is to stay on top of the housework when I have a house full of my own kids and many of their cousins, I am also thankful to have them near me nearly nonstop for the past six months. I love having my children home with me, and I am indeed grateful for the relationships that I have with my nieces and nephews. I'm thankful that they love coming to my home, and I am thankful that my home is a gathering place for those I love. The children in my life fill my soul with joy. I hope that my children, and my nieces and nephews, look back on this time and remember it as a time when they felt loved. I hope that they felt like my home was a safe place from the world outside. I hope that they forgive me for the times that I complained under my breath, because sometimes it was hard, and loud, and really chaotic. I hope that they know that I did my best to be positive and cheerful. I hope my kids remember how I tried to make it fun for them. I hope they remember the swims, the hikes, the biking and the walking. I hope they remember the basketball and dodge-ball in the backyard. I hope they remember the Lego room that I made for them, and the blind eye that I turned to their rough housing and ball throwing in the house. I hope my girls and my nieces remember the many dance classes that I taught them, and that I hung mirrors in the loft to make it official. I hope that my nephews remember fondly the many hours of video games that I let them play with my sons. I hope they all remember jumping on the trampoline with ice and the hose. I hope they remember how I bribed them to clean with candy. I hope they remember Pilates and "just dance". I hope my boys remember how I tried playing video games with them, and that I didn't mind at all when they laughed at me because I was so bad. I hope they remember Come Follow Me and father's blessings. 2020 allowed for lots of togetherness. It allowed for growth and patience. It created mountains of laundry, but also endless hours of both creativity and boredom. 2020 was a year of learning how to navigate around each other all hours of the day, every day. And, I am thankful for it. I am really, really going to miss my kids tomorrow. So, after I drop them off at school, and after I dance around the house for an hour in my underwear, I will sit and reflect some more upon all of the many ways that I love the children in my life.