Testimony

I really ought to be getting to bed, but I needed to record some of my feelings from this day.

I had the opportunity to hear Andy Moss speak in church today. Andy has cancer, and it looks like it may be terminal. I have watched this man and his wife struggle through this trial for nearly two years now. My heart breaks for them. But, as I watched him speak, I felt the influence of the Holy Ghost wash over me so intensely. His testimony edified and uplifted me, and I truly felt as though a piece of heaven was on earth, in that chapel. It was so tangible.

It was evident to me that the veil was very thin for the Moss family. It felt as though I was listening to the tongue of angels as I listened to Andy. He testified of eternal families. He testified of a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves His children individually. When he was told the devastating news that the cancer he had been fighting had come back and was present now throughout his body, he felt calm. His wife, Leyla, fell apart and asked him how he could be so calm. Andy told her that no matter the outcome, no matter what happens to him, he knew that he would be able to be with his family for eternity. He knew that families are eternal. He testified with power that there is a God. I can't really put into words how much I loved his talk.

Andy talked about miracles that have happened through this trial and how his family has been so blessed through it all. God is always good. Bad things happen to good people but God is in the details. He is aware of us. I know this to be true. God is always good.

I have not lost a husband or a child. I have not had cancer. My health is generally very good, and I have such a wonderful husband and great children. I am blessed. My life is so blessed. But, I have had trials. And, through my trials, I have learned something. God is there. He is, and always will be, there. My most difficult trial was my pregnancy with Hannah. I fell apart. The anxiety and stress that I felt during that time was intense. At first, I begged and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to take the trial away. But, that wasn't the answer. It wasn't just taken away, I had to endure it. However, when I finally came to humble myself and accept His will--no matter what His will may be-- something so sweet happened. I felt a new sense of peace wash over me like I had never felt before. It literally felt like a spiritual hug, for a lack of a better way to describe it. I felt a dramatic change. My anxiety and stress were gone. I felt peace and love and I realized that He never left me. I had drawn myself away, but He had never left. My Savior, was there the whole time waiting for me to yoke myself to Him so that He could help me carry my burden. It was such a sweet and tender experience, and through that experience, I learned something about trials and why we have them. They refine us and perfect us. God is always good. Our trials bless our lives as long as we allow them to. As we commit ourselves to live the gospel and accept His will, we are blessed. Andy's talk reminded me of this.