Conference, And An Answer to Prayer

We prepared spiritually for this April 2020 conference. President Nelson promised that if we prepared for this unique conference (it is the 200th anniversary of Joseph Smith's first vision), we would be blessed to receive further light, and that it would be unforgettable. We took this to heart and prepared as much as we could as a family. It was life-changing for me. The readers of this blog can re-read the conference talks to hear what we experienced, and hopefully they will feel the same, overpowering spirit that we felt. I felt to rejoice, my soul was full of love and a desire to do good and be good. I can't really communicate in words what I experienced, my tears flowed freely, suffice it to say, that I felt as the people in 3rd Nephi, when they asked that the Lord tarry with them longer. They had been so spiritually fed by the resurrected Christ, that they didn't want Him to leave them. I had similar feelings. Monday comes, but Sunday was beautiful. I hope that Sunday changed me into a better version of myself, even if I still falter along the way. I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I love the influence of the Holy Ghost. And, I love President Nelson. I love him so much, and I can feel his love he has for the people of this world.

I've reflected on and off about one particular paragraph from Elder Oaks' talk. 

    "In the Council in Heaven, all the spirit children of God were introduced to the Father’s plan, including its mortal consequences and trials, its heavenly helps, and its glorious destiny. We saw the end from the beginning. All of the myriads of mortals who have been born on this earth chose the Father’s plan and fought for it in the heavenly contest that followed. Many also made covenants with the Father concerning what they would do in mortality. In ways that have not been revealed, our actions in the spirit world have influenced our circumstances in mortality."

This paragraph has stuck with me. I find that I am asking myself often if I am doing all that I ought to be doing to live up to my potential. This beautiful life I have been given, which is truly a beautiful, surely comes with the command, "to whom much is given, much is required". Am I living up to my potential? If my actions in the spirit world, influenced my circumstances in morality, and my morality is so beautiful, then surely I must be able to do great things, and ought to do great things in mortality. I don't mean to boast, I mean to say that I feel like Ammon:

11 But Ammon said unto him: I do not ^aboast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my ^bjoy is full, yea, my heart is brim with ^cjoy, and I will rejoice in my God.

12 Yea, I know that I am ^anothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will ^bnot boast of myself, but I will ^cboast of my God, for in his ^dstrength I can do all ^ethings; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever.

...15 Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting ^adarkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting ^blight, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love; yea, and we have been instruments in his hands of doing this great and marvelous work.

Like Ammon, I feel I am to be an instrument in His hands to bring about His work. If covenants were made in the spirit world, and I covenanted with God to do a certain work, whatever that may be, I wish to fulfill my obligations. I asked my husband, "How do I know if I am doing enough? How do I know if I am fulfilling that covenant?" 

Somewhat concerned over the matter, I have thought and prayed over it considerably.

It is interesting to me how the Lord works. I am often amazed by how well He knows me. Indeed, I stand all amazed at how well He knows how to succor His people. I have already had the spiritual experiences necessary to answer my questions. I had just forgotten that this prayer had already been answered. 

A few years ago, I had written a letter to our Stake Patriarch and his wife, Brother and Sister Barnes. It was a journal entry that I had written in regards to my question of who I was before I came to earth. I spent quite a bit of time pondering over my spiritual gifts. My spiritual gifts were the answers I got in response to that heartfelt question about who I was. It showed me then that the Lord loves me intimately and knows me intimately too. He led me down a path, where, little by little my soul discovered these precious little nuggets. Like pieces to a puzzle, or strokes added to a tapestry, the picture slowly started to come together and my prayers were answered. 

I have not had as much correspondence with my friends, the Barnes', over the last couple of years. We have moved wards and so I do not see them as regularly. But, yesterday, Brother Barnes sent me an email, he asked me for permission to share my letter with a loved one. I re-read my letter. As I read my own words from a few years ago, my heart swelled with joy. The spirit whispered to me that I already knew the answers to the questions I had been pondering. It was right there, in my own words. The spirit had already answered it for me and I just forgot where to look. I was thankful that Patriarch Barnes was in tune with the spirit enough to bring this letter back to my attention. I smiled at the thought of my Savior giving me a spiritual hug, telling me through impressions that I received, that He knows all, He knows everything I need before I even know what I am missing, He hears me, and He answers my prayers. Indeed, He has never let me down. I know from experience that He even knows what's on my Amazon wish list, but that is a post for another time ;) 

Isn't it great? We have every reason to rejoice in our Lord.