Taught in my Dreams

I have shared before how the Lord teaches me through my dreams at times. Some of my dreams are very spiritually edifying to me.

Last night, I had a horrifying nightmare. It was a very detailed nightmare, one that felt very real and one that I have a difficult time forgetting.

I don't know how we got there, but I was being restrained by some wicked men and Luke was before me. More wicked men came and restrained Luke. What happened next is almost to terrifying to recall and every time I have told someone about this dream, I have not been able to avoid crying as the images come back to my mind. I don't even want to share this part, because it is awful, but the men lit Luke on fire and and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. I tried to get to him, he looked confused and obviously in pain. He was looking at me and he was trying to rub the flames away. I couldn't get to him so I just kept shouting, "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I pleaded that Heavenly Father would take him so that he wouldn't be in any more pain. I just kept repeating over and over again, "I love you! Please Heavenly Father, take him!" It was awful.

I woke up in a sheer panic. Relieved that it was just a nightmare, I found Jon Mark's arms and I wrapped them around me. He could tell immediately how upset I was. I tried to go back to sleep, but everytime I closed my eyes, those awful images that I saw in great detail came back. I was partially awake when I told myself to think of something else, anything else that was happy and could replace those nightmarish images. Immediately, without any thought of my own, a new image filled my mind's eye. The Savior was there in my thoughts. For this next part, I can't say that I was sleeping, because it felt as though I was awake, but it is not as though I crafted the dream, it felt like a dream, only I feel like I was somewhat awake.

The dream "re-winded" to just before Luke was hurt by the men. I was restrained, I saw Luke, the same helpless and terrifying sensation came over me, but this time I was not alone against those men. I saw my Savior walk over to Luke, He bent down and He embraced him. While still embracing him, He looked over Luke's shoulder at me and I knew by the look He gave me what was going to happen next. And, as I type this, I still have tears pouring down my cheeks because of the gratitude and love that I felt from Him and for Him at that moment. After He hugged my son, He gave him back to me. The men didn't stop Him from giving Luke back to me. Luke walked back to my side and I held him, crying, as my Savior willingly took his place.

Thankfully, I didn't see the wicked men kill Him, but I knew that my Savior had sacrificed Himself to save my son. Overcome by emotion, I kept expressing gratitude to Heavenly Father for saving my son through the merits of His Son. I thanked Him repeatedly for giving us a Savior, a Redeemer, a Big Brother, a Best Friend. I said to my Heavenly Father that, "I get it a little better now." I felt the atonement become more real to me. I realized more deeply why I needed Jesus Christ. I needed Him not only to save us from physical death, but also to save us from the sorrow, pain, and anguish we may face in mortality. His willing sacrifice, done out of the purest of love, was a needed sacrifice. Everything depended on Him to do what He promised us He would do. It was pure love in His eyes as He took the place of my son. It was His love for me and all of us that He died those many years ago.

Thankfully the story doesn't end there. I add my own glad tidings of great joy that it doesn't... Because He triumphed over death and hell. And, someday, I will run to Him. I too will fall at His feet and I will thank Him. He will embrace me and I will know then, just as I know now, that He is my brother. My pain, although just a dream, felt so real. My joy, love, and gratitude for Him felt equally real because it is.

I reverently and absolutely declare that I know He lives. He knows me and He loves me. I am His.