By Michael Otterson, Managing Director, Church Public Affairs
SALT LAKE CITY —
If there’s one thing that virtually all Christians agree on, it’s Jesus Christ’s tender love of children. Both the Bible and Book of Mormon deliver touching accounts of His love for “little ones,” blessing them and forbidding His disciples from keeping children from Him.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the family is reverenced and children are its centerpiece. Yet last week an instructional letter from Church leadership addressing the sensitive topic of how to respond to same-sex relationships sparked a wave of inquiries from Church members. Most of the questions were about children.
Because the letter was an instructional document to leadership throughout the world, and not a Church-wide announcement through LDS.org or through Church Public Affairs, there was no additional information or context on the usual Church websites. That prompted questions from many Church members, who were mostly reading media headlines portraying the instructions as a rejection of children and refusal to name babies. Members understandably had specific questions about how the announced change might affect their loved ones.
The episode demonstrates clearly the dangers of drawing conclusions based on incomplete news reports, tweets and Facebook posts without necessary context and accurate information. The Church quickly responded to many of those concerns with a video interview with Elder D. Todd Christofferson, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. By the end of the weekend, that interview had been viewed by millions.
One difficulty was a general lack of understanding of the Handbook itself, which is a guide for lay leaders of the church in 30,000 congregations across the world. A purpose of the Handbook is to provide bishops and other leaders with a standard reference point when they make decisions. Because it is a policy and procedural manual, the Handbook is not written in language that is necessarily contextual or explanatory. Church leaders are encouraged to use the Handbook in conjunction with the guidance of the Holy Ghost. Sensitivity to individual circumstances is learned through the Spirit, Christ’s teachings and example as found in the scriptures, from talks and teachings of General Authorities, and from the leaders’ own experience and exposure to real-life situations. No handbook can answer every question or address every circumstance.
Here are the key points to understand as background to the recent changes and additions to the leaders’ Handbook:
It is not a sin simply to feel attraction to another person of the same sex. Some faithful members of the Church experience those attractions yet participate in the Church without breaking the Lord’s commandments. They serve missions and attend the temple. The Church teaches its members to embrace these brothers and sisters and encourage them in their faithful lives in the Church.
There is no change in the doctrinal position that sexual relations between people of the same sex are sinful.
There is new information in the Handbook that addresses a narrow range of situations involving the children of same-sex couples.
With same-sex marriage now legal in the United States and some other nations, the Church felt the need specifically to address such marriages in the Handbook to draw a firm line and encourage consistency among local leaders. In particular, Church leaders are concerned for children–whether biologically born to one of the partners, adopted or medically conceived. In reality, very few same-sex couples would bring children for the formal Church ordinance of naming and blessing, since this creates a formal membership record. But Church leaders want to avoid putting little children in a potential tug-of-war between same-sex couples at home and teachings and activities at church.
This sensitivity to family circumstances is practiced elsewhere. For example, the Church doesn’t baptize minor children without parental consent, even if the children want to be associated with their LDS friends. A married man or woman isn’t baptized if the spouse objects. Missionaries don’t proselytize in most Muslim countries or in Israel, where there are particular sensitivities with family. In some African and other nations where polygamy is practiced, anyone whose parents practice polygamy needs special permission for baptism so they know that a practice that is culturally acceptable for many in the region is not acceptable in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Of course, there are always situations that fall outside general guidelines and principles, which is why local leaders may ask for guidance from more senior leaders in particular cases where they may have questions.
The vast majority of Church members understand that there has been no doctrinal change with regard to LGBT issues. Church doctrine is consistent with the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. There is a strong tendency today for many to talk of Jesus Christ as if His teachings on love were somehow inconsistent with his teachings on divine commandments. Of course the Savior’s love was never withheld from anyone and His words on the cross exemplify that. But, He also expressed love by teaching clear doctrine and standing firmly against sin with sometimes-tough lessons for which people rejected Him. That is where Church leaders stand today – holding firm to the doctrinal position of right and wrong, while extending love to all people. Church members who believe in modern prophets and apostles understand and appreciate the intent of their leaders to guide the Church through the complexities of diverse societies and rapidly changing social circumstances.
This is how I want to remember this boy at this age. Sleeping with his Calvin and Hobbes book open, his army guys next to him, and his mouth open. That is my boy.
He also got on the honor roll this year. He missed school the day of the assembly when the certificates were handed out because we let him skip school that day. He had stayed after school for three days doing extra testing requirements for a program and we told him that if he tried his hardest he could skip school.
Lindsay (sorry Lindsay), Mom, Natalie, Mandy, and Tiff
Caleb wasn't happy because he was cold and he missed his nap. Tiff rocked him to sleep after Lindsay got tired of holding him and he was a true baby-whisperer. I was holding Hannah.
Hannah was also grumpy. It was nice visiting with our cousins. We haven't seen each other in such a long time. It was nice.
I took these kids on a walk the other day. I was about 50 feet from my home when three loose pit bulls rounded the corner. My kids are terrified of dogs, and pit bulls have awful track records, so I knew that the situation could turn very bad very quickly. I didn't have much time to react. I had about ten seconds to decide what to do. I got down in front of Luke and told him very sternly that any second some really big dogs were going to come over to us and that it was very important for him to be very brave and to not run or scream. He had started to ask me when the big dogs would come, but he was only mid-way through his sentence when the biggest dog of the three popped up right in front of Luke, eye to eye. Luke didn't move or make a sound. He was so brave, I was ready to react if I needed to. Although, I am not sure how I would have fared against three dogs. I would have died trying to protect my babies, of that I was certain. Well, the dog check us out and then ran to catch up with the other dogs. I quickly got my kids into the house and shut the door. I told Luke I was so proud of him. He told me that in his head he was glaring at the dog and shaking his fist while saying, "I'm not afraid of you, come and get this!"
Jon Mark has a cuter picture on his phone, but this is the face Luke said that he gave the dog to scare it away.
I was so thankful that the Lord protected us. In my heart I knew that if the situation had gotten scary, all I could really do was pray to the Lord and tell Him, I know you shut the mouths of lions, please shut the mouths of these animals so that my babies will be safe. I made sure to offer a prayer of thanks.
I threw my back out pretty badly the other day. The kids have had a few lectures about being helpful and not making me work too hard. The other day, Mercedes came up to me very concerned and asked me when my back would get better. I thought she was worried about me being in pain so I tried to reassure her that I would be better soon, but it might take some time. She sighed, "How much longer? Because I really don't want to have to keep helping you." She had been concerned about herself the whole time! Silly girl. I do appreciate her help, though. She changed Hannah's diaper and everything.
Mommom Mac made Mercedes such a cute Little Mermaid dress. She also dyed a wig red and gave it to Mercedes so she would have long hair. Mercedes felt so pretty. Joshua was an army guy, again, no surprise there.
I started out the day as a scarecrow. I went to Mercedes' class and helped with her party. I wasn't sure if I should show up to Jon Mark's work party like that, so I took the makeup off on the drive over.
We had our annual spooky dinner. I think this was the 5th year we have done it. It's a fun family tradition. I think everyone was there except for Vanessa and Ben and their kids. They did their own thing. I tried to get a picture of everyone that was there.
Caleb was a lion.
Hannah was a sailor.
I finished off the holiday with an 80's girl look, although I am not sure if anyone really noticed.
Luke was a Power Ranger.
It was nice meeting some of our neighbors. The streets were very dark.
