The other night I had a nightmare and woke up trembling with despair. The nightmare was the very worst nightmare that a mother could possibly have regarding her daughters. Without recalling too much of the horrid dream, suffice it to say that my daughters were taken from me by wicked men and I could not find them, I didn't even know where to look.
In the dream, friends at church asked me how I could possibly go on knowing that my daughters weren't with me. Without hesitating, I told them it was because I trusted my Savior and knew that in the end all would be made right. The dream was absolutely awful, and I woke up sobbing in my bed. I was relieved that it was not reality, and I focused my thoughts on Jesus Christ, for He is the source of my peace. However, I sorrowed that it is the reality of many, for human trafficking is a huge stain on this world. I understand what it means to sorrow over the sins of the world and at times, it is too much. I feel the weight of the fallen world too much. Yet, in contrast, my soul feels to sing a song of redeeming love. In my bedroom that night, I said the words out loud, "this is why the world needs a Savior". As gloomy as was my nightmare, I felt a rush of love for my Jesus. I felt immense gratitude for Him and for my Heavenly Father. I prayed over and over, "thank you for my Savior". It was repetitious but not in vain, I needed Heavenly Father to know how thankful I was. I prayed for those who stand as victims of abuse. I prayed earnestly that night for our Savior to return and make it okay.
I have been feeling hopeless recently about the state of the world. I am gently cushioned in the gospel bubble, protected for the most part from outside influences. I am armed with covenants that yoke me to the God of this universe, and I am surrounded by Zion. I find myself yearning to stand in Holy Places at all times and in all things, and I can feel the discomfort in my heart when I am not.
There are times when my eyes are opened, I cry out for a reset. How can youth stand a chance in this world when so much is against them? Where is the hope? How much worse can it get? But then, there's today. And today we listened to our Prophet. Thank God for a living prophet! He addressed all of my concerns and feelings.
I do feel the we are living the winding up scenes. I do feel we were reserved for such a time as this. I do feel that the Lord trusts us and we are being called to a higher way of living. I do feel that I can use my influence to do much good. The prophet said that while we live in the most wicked time the earth has ever witnessed, there is much good ahead. The Lord will reveal His power and glory and miracles in ways that has never been known on the earth before. The Lord will protect His saints. I wish I could attach a direct quote, but conference just ended and it is not available yet. My eyes filled with tears as I listened to President Nelson. I love him! I am thankful for him! He addressed my concerns, my worry and anxiety. He gave me tools to feel peace and overcome the world. He helped me realize that there is untapped strength in standing fast to my covenants. I have come to love going to the temple and the respite from the world that it provides. I have been trying to go weekly. I leave each time with increased power in the priesthood, and I am participating in something much bigger than myself. I am so grateful and my heart is full.
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