Funny sayings

 Caleb was watching The Hobbit and saw Bilbos' battle trodden feet, "Oh wow! He would definitely not be allowed on the carpet!"

Caleb said "thum" instead of "them", we started laughing and he scolded everyone for laughing. He said, "I said thum not thum!!!" That made everyone laugh harder. Joshua said, "well, I guess it's contagious. Kevin came down for one weekend and broke my brother."

Hannah wanted to eat the sacrament bread that I had just pulled out of the oven. I told her no, and explained that the bread was for the sacrament. She said, "Mom, remember in the scriptures it says that Jesus fed 5,000 with five loaves of bread and some fishes. It's not going to matter if I take some of the sacrament bread, there will be enough, I think Jesus can handle it."

Luke has used the scriptures against me a few times. Once, when I forgot to pick him up from school for the third time, he tried to reassure me by using scriptures (I felt really, really bad and he was sincerely trying to help me feel better). He said, "mom, don't worry, you know what Christ says in the scriptures? He says, can a woman forget her sucking child that she not have compassion on the fruit of her womb? Yay, they may forget, but I will never forget you." He points up to the sky, "you may forget me, but He never will."

I killed a scorpion at the school the other day when I was teaching 2nd grade. I didn't even hesitate. I looked around and the panicked children and realized that I was the brave one in the room, there was no one else who could kill it. It had to be me. So, I walked over, removed my shoe, and uncharacteristically squashed the thing. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I was retelling the story to my kids in the car after school. Joshua said, "what did that poor bug ever do to you?" I reminded him how that scorpion almost killed Hannah when she was 2. He said, "no not that one. A different scorpion almost killed Hannah. That one never did anything to you." To which Luke responded, "Yeah, that is like punishing all of mankind for Adam's transgression!"

Caleb came to me shocked and said that Grandma had given him a book with a swear word in it. He showed me the page and it had a text bubble above a character with the symbols *#@! to represent a bad word. He said, "don't worry, I don't know how to read that, so I don't know what it says."

I took the kids to garage sales this past weekend. They had never been to one before. Caleb saw a toy that caught his eye. It was listed for $5. He asked if she'd take $2 for it, the lady agreed. Well, now he realized that he had some power to change prices so he got a little greedy. He asked if she'd be willing to take $1. The lady replied, "no, I've already dropped it down to $2, remember it was listed at $5. You're getting a good deal." "Well, this is the first garage sale that I have been to, and I am going to go to other garage sales. I may find something better to spend my $2 on. So, I think I will leave it here and maybe come back." Where did he learn how to negotiate like that?! It wasn't from me!

We got a new car and it has a sun roof that opens up. Caleb was SO very excited about the new car. He was eager to push all of the buttons. He stood up through the opened sun roof when it suddenly closed on his head. He won't be making that mistake again.

Caleb also told me that when he grows up he's going to have a restaurant and it's only going to serve tasty stuff and the name of his restaurant is going to be Tasty Stuff.

The other day I ate lunch at a Mexican restaurant and I saved a couple of the candy mints to give to Caleb. He took one look at them and asked me with disgust where I got them. I told him from a Mexican restaurant and he said, "You're going to give me candy with Fentanyl in it?! I will not eat that, are you trying to kill me? Fentanyl comes from Mexico you know!" I reassured him that the candy was safe. Can you tell his Aunt is a prosecutor? He still wouldn't eat it. I told him that I was going to give it to Joshua then. He said that if Joshua died then it would be my fault.

Mercedes didn't say anything funny recently that I have made a note to add here. But, she's been a very caring older sister. For the first few months of school, she made sure that she'd go out of her way to pick Caleb up after school so that he wouldn't have to walk to the neighborhood alone. She's a very caring older sister. She also had a great cross country season and made it to State!