Angels

Recently I set a goal to run a Ragnar race with a friend of mine who had organized for me to be on his 12 person team. In the weeks of preparation prior to the race, I worried. The Ragnar is a 204 mile relay race and some of the legs are lengthy miles ran at night time. Running alone in the dark in perhaps the wilderness was a frightening concept for me. I wanted to run, and I prayed for days following that the Lord would protect me. It was then when I realized something. The Lord has promised to send to us His angels, He has given them charge over us. I realized that perhaps those angels were indeed my Grandpas and Gavin, and my Grandparents in law. I realized that perhaps they were near to us and I could call on them when I wanted to. I prayed daily that I would feel them near.

I'm not sure why, but when I am running, whether it be on the elliptical or out in the open, I feel very close to the spirit and to my ancestors who have graduated from mortality. I think it's because my mind is quiet, I am often reflecting, and I am allowing myself to feel them near. I have questioned whether or not anyone is really there, am I really feeling their presence? Or, am I feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost? Either way, it doesn't really matter. What does matter is that the spirit is teaching me in those quiet moments, and I do believe whole-heartedly that my angels, my loved ones, do visit me. My garage is kind of a piece of Heaven on earth for me lately. I am very careful about what movies or songs I listen to when I am working out in there. Not that I watched or listened to anything inappropriate before, but I am conscientious that what I listen to has a good message and isn't too hard in it's beat.

The other day, I was in my garage on my elliptical when I found myself in despair over the events happening in the world. I had read an article earlier about the over-sexualization agenda regarding our youth. It was most disturbing. I found myself thinking that there was no hope. I send my children out into the world every day and they are battling evil on all sides. Satan is very deceiving. Words are used that soften the evil messages and people are confused. Children are targeted, the walls that I build around my kids to protect their innocence is prematurely dismantled. How can there be hope when the progressive liberal agenda is attacking their innocence? I can hardly teach them gospel principles fast enough. I send them out with a prayer and a scripture, but really how can that be enough with all that is happening in the world? It was hopeless. I was feeling so incredibly hopeless.

I started to pray. Yes, all while I was exercising. And a scripture came to my mind. D&C 84:88:

And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

When I remembered that scripture, I was filled with a knowledge that our angels (more specifically, my grandpas) are there when we need them most. They are there at school with my kids, They are there in my garage, they are there at a Ragnar race, they are there in my home, they are there at play, when they are needed they are there. Our Heavenly Father will not leave us alone.

A situation that had moments prior seemed hopeless, suddenly I was full of hope and gratitude. In my mind's eye I imagined my grandpas. I miss them so much, They are men I loved and who loved me, men I trusted and had admired, and they had charge over my children. I cannot explain how I felt at that realization. My children weren't alone, there is always hope. I cried. There on the elliptical, drenched in sweat, I cried. My tears were full of gratitude and relief. I was feeling so thankful to my Heavenly Father for never leaving us alone in this mortal journey. I was so thankful that He had given me renewed testimony over the concept that our Heavenly Father hears our silent cries and comforts us in our times of need. I needed comfort and I felt so very comforted. Later, I read a talk given by Elder Holland. Elder Holland says all that I am trying to say so much more eloquently than I can. These excerpts are applicable here. 

   In the course of life all of us spend time in “dark and dreary” places, wildernesses, circumstances of sorrow or fear or discouragement. Our present day is filled with global distress over financial crises, energy problems, terrorist attacks, and natural calamities. These translate into individual and family concerns not only about homes in which to live and food available to eat but also about the ultimate safety and well-being of our children and the latter-day prophecies about our planet. More serious than these—and sometimes related to them—are matters of ethical, moral, and spiritual decay seen in populations large and small, at home and abroad. But I testify that angels are still sent to help us, even as they were sent to help Adam and Eve, to help the prophets, and indeed to help the Savior of the world Himself. Matthew records in his gospel that after Satan had tempted Christ in the wilderness “angels came and ministered unto him.”8 Even the Son of God, a God Himself, had need for heavenly comfort during His sojourn in mortality. And so such ministrations will be to the righteous until the end of time.  (...)

I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He “would fight [our] battles, [our] children’s battles, and [the battles of our] children’s children.”10 And what do we do to merit such a defense? We are to “search diligently, pray always, and be believing[. Then] all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith [we] have covenanted.”11 The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing and remember our covenants. (...)

My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.”13 On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal. (...)

May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord’s promise as contained in one of President Monson’s favorite scriptures: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”