Christmas 2023

 

Retiring a Flag

 

Funny Things I Want To Remember

 The kids still say funny things. Sometimes those things are more sophisticated because they are older and have quick humor. Sometimes, their innocence shines through. 

Hannah was helping out at a YMYW activity because JM and I are both leaders and we didn't want to leave Cub and Hannah home unattended. Hannah was helping to set up an activity with the YW president, Sister Smith. Sister Smith said, "Hannah, we don't need any men, we are strong and can do it ourselves." Hannah replied, "Oh no, ummm, my parents are both in the youth program and uh, they teach me not to be a femminnenenism. Well, I don't remember the word, but yeah, I'm not that."

At the same activity, Caleb was helping JM and some of the other church leaders set up Nine Square. Dad said, "Do you think it's good enough?" Caleb replied, "Ummmm, it's pretty good, but it's not perfect. Only Christ can make it perfect."

Hannah, who is still in love with Cade, found out that he was going on a date. She was jealous at first, but she changed her jealousy into optimism. She said, "Cade needs to go on dates because it's practice for when it really counts with me."

Joshua at LegoLand was calling me a buzz kill because I didn't excitedly give my permission for JM to purchase a really, really expensive Lego set for the kids to build during May the Fourth Be With You. I told him that I gave dad my blessing to go ahead and purchase it. To which he responded, "you know what it says in the scriptures, with their lips they do honor me, but their hearts are far from me... you didn't mean it."

At San Diego, Joshua says, "We should stay in San Diego one more day." JM said, "We don't have a place to stay and everything is probably all sold out now." Joshua said, "Like Jessica says, when there's a will there's a way." JM replied, "Right, but the way may be sleeping next to the Red Box vending machine right there." Quick as can be, Joshua declares, "We would have the true San Diego experience!"

I wrote a poem recently when I was feeling reflective. Here it is: Even in the darkest night, when darkness settles in, I will not ever be afraid for I know to look for Him. He meets me in the darkness, if I have eyes to see, His light is in my soul, He will rescue me. Darkness cannot cover it, it contrasts and defines, the light more recognizable, the presence of Divine. So, if the night must surely come, I'll face it on my feet, and wait for that redeeming hour when triumph is so sweet.

Some Texts I wanted to save

 

Ralae McAvoy <rhmcavoy@gmail.com>	2:29 PM (0 minutes ago)
to me

10/28/22 Caleb: Dad, when do you stop being a kid. (Loudly interrupts) and I don’t mean Kid of God because I know we are always a kid of God. I mean just when you are a grown up. 

10/28/22 Caleb worries that he will be embrassed for bringing a present to a birthday party 

Caleb: show me where it says to bring a present on the invite? 

Ralae: it doesn’t say it on the invite. It is just customary. 

Jessica: can you imagine getting an invite that says “bring a present!” or someone says to you ”don’t forget my present” 

Caleb: that is what I say to Michelle all the time, I only got two presents from the McAvoy’s when I turned 7. 

Jessica: really, who didn’t get you one? 

Ralae: You got 3 presents for your birthday 

Caleb: oh, it was when I was 6. 

Jessica: wow, we’re going back two years 

(Ralae asks Jessica what I think of Caleb going to a neighbor to ask if she finished his goodie bag) 

Jessica: Caleb sometimes people have good intentions but they don’t have enough time and money to do it all Caleb: I would be totally fine if someone came to me and asked if I had the goodie bags ready. 

Jessica: right, but how many goodie bags have you given out. Did you get me a birthday present? 

Caleb (looks at Jessica like she's crazy): Do you know how much money I have? 

Ralae: Caleb’s love language is gift giving. Well, really gift receiving. 

(Caleb gets back from party) Caleb: Papa Haws needs to give us all 8 presents, I mean 4 presents, because he is going to miss two Christmas’ and Birthdays’ 

A conversation with Caleb on the way to the dr: Mom, I wish I could really see a robber in real life. Why’s that? Because I’ve never been able to use my full strength and I really want to use my full strength. You can use your full strength in tackle football someday. What?! You want me to kill someone that is a good person and a kid?! I don’t think you’d kill them if you used your full strength. Oh, I would totally kill them. That’s not safe. Do you want me to grow up and be a bad guy? No, of course not. Well, then don’t tell me to use my full strength against a good person, like a kid playing football. Ok, maybe only use half of your strength. Well, then you’re asking me to break bones, and I don’t know if that’s a good idea… (May we all have such confidence ) 

***Ralae's text to Mercedes to show Luke

Can you show this to Luke? Luke, thank you for trusting me with your spiritual experiences. Thank you for trusting me enough to share with me your experience about seeing angels last night. I truly believe that Heavenly Father has great faith in you and you have a great work to do on this earth. Each of my children were sent to earth at this time for the purpose of bringing souls to Christ. You are Valiant and chosen to be His soldiers in these last days. Each of you have unique spiritual gifts, pay attention to those gifts that they may guide you and help you know the missions for which you were sent to earth for. You have a gift of the spirit that allows you to make special spiritual connections in your life. What I mean is that you can apply the scriptures to your life in special ways. You also have the gift of having your eyes open to the great works of God that He is able to manifest great things to you through spiritual experiences because of your faith in Him. I’m thankful that you felt the spirit yesterday through music. I would encourage you to write down (today) the experience you had. That way you can reflect on it and learn from it and remember it. Find a quiet spot and a quiet time and record it (maybe google docs should be a place to start a journal?). Anyway, you’re a good boy and I love you. You’ll see many great things in your life if you have the eyes to see in righteousness. I love you! I read this chapter today on angels and thought it was not a coincidence and thought maybe you should study it. Moroni 7 

Today in the car, Hannah was reminiscing about last year when she gave a Valentine to a boy and asked him if he’d be her Valentine. He said no and then ate the chocolates anyway. Hannah proceeded to tell her siblings, “I mean, that was so rude! He ate the chocolates anyway! Doesn’t he know that he’s supposed to give them back to me so that I can cry while I eat them?! That’s how love works!!” 

***Experience Mercedes shared with me in a text:

Spiritual Insight I was thinking about a verse of a song, it says, “the drought breaks with the tears of a mother, a baby’s cry is the sound of love, come down come down Emmanuel.” I can’t help thinking how true this is. My mom always jokes around that’s she has a special part in Heavenly Fathers heart. I used to think it was a joke, but now I see truth behind the statement. Whenever we enter a drought, my mom will pray for rain. Soon enough we all grumpily awake to rain on our windows and the crack of thunder. But it’s not just my mom who holds a spot in His heart, I think it’s every mother. Hence the reference, “the drought breaks with the tears of a mother.” Moms are a very important part of the Plan of Happiness and our society in general. Without moms, kids would never know the world and what it could become. Children wouldn’t be able to find their way and make it back to heaven. I think Lauren Daigle is referring to this point, but I also think she is referring to the deep care mothers feel towards all children. (Most of the time) My mother cares for each and every child as if they are her own. She once got all fired up at the HOA president for getting all up in my brother’s best friends grill. She does this with every child, she treated them like they are her own and I’ve seen other moms do this as well. Moms get protective over certain situations because they picture their own kid in that same situation and feel empathy toward the person being assaulted. The line I’m referring to could also be taking about the empathy mothers tend to have and how they want the best for their kids. The drought could be symbolizing the surrounding world and the tears showing how the mother doesn’t want her kids to grow up in it. She’s praying for it to come to an end. For her kids to be happy and understand. The second line, “A baby’s cry is the sound of love,” was a bit more difficult to decipher. However, when I hear it I think of my baby cousins and the innocence of children. I believe this line is explaining how when a baby cry’s, they are taking in the world around them and they are just beginning to understand everything that’s so different from what they’re used to. The baby is asking for someone to help them in the only possible way they can ask for help, an innocent cry. Therefore, when she says, “a baby’s cry is the sound of love,” she is referring to the point of the baby needing help and in return cheering everyone around them up as well. Also, she could be explaining how a baby’s cry means they’re asking for you specifically and that’s their way of saying they love you. The last line was easy, “come down, come down, Emmanuel.” Lauren Daigle throughout the whole song is giving examples of people in pain and inflicted. She’s asking the Savior to come down to heal us all again. She’s praying for the Second Coming. 

***Experience Ralae wrote in text to family:

I started a new tradition. A candlelight Christmas dinner on fancy plates with fancy cups. During dinner, we’d listen to a couple of spiritual Christmas songs, read Luke 2, and then give our gifts to Jesus (true to tradition, we write our gifts down on paper and then put the slips of paper in a fancy box. It’s the first gift we open on Christmas morning). As I was preparing all day for the dinner, cleaning, cooking, planning, I lowered my expectations. I realized that the image I had in my head would probably not be what would come to pass, and I didn’t stress but rolled with the punches. I knew Joshua would participate less than willingly, and he’d probably make some sarcastic remarks. So, when he didn’t want to hold hands around the table during prayer and Mercedes and Taylor Thompson had to hold his wrists, it was ok and I smiled to myself. I knew that there’d be a spill (at least one, maybe two), so when Luke spilled his sparkling juice, again—I smiled to myself. I realized that Caleb is 8 and Hannah is 10, if they broke one of the glasses, I bought them for a dollar so no biggie. It was a close call on two occasions, but nothing was actually broken. There was talking during one of the songs I played, even though I told them to just listen. There was some arguing over who got to light the candles (so we blew them out and gave everyone a chance to light them who wanted to). I asked Jm to take this picture and he had to set up the tripod which took some time and some figuring out, and I smiled to myself. Jon Mark, Jessica and Mercedes were supportive and clearly “had my back”. They tried their best to help reality match the image in my head. But, as I looked around at my family as they were just being who they are naturally, I couldn’t help but feel so much love for them. They were mine, imperfections and all. This Christmas season has been the best one for me. I’ve tried every single day to do something that captured the Christmas spirit. I’ve served and ministered, I’ve worn ugly socks and sweaters. I’ve brought dinner to friends and I’ve written letters. I’ve bit my tongue and held my peace. I connected with that tender baby that was born so long ago and I imagined holding Him. I’ve marveled at how for a moment all of Heaven must have looked on at that stable and rejoiced, for hope was born—love was born—our Savior was born! Because He was born, there is hope in this fallen world. All of it, everything that there is, it all hinged on Jesus Christ coming to earth and doing what He said He’d do. Christmas is hope. So, when I read Luke 2: 10 “And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” I could not help but cry—which is one of my quirks, and my family rolled with the punches ;) As I looked around the table at my family, I saw the Savior’s light and His goodness reflected in them. My children find the goodness in this world and they shine brightly with His light. But, like Mary, I kept these things and pondered them in my heart. I guess now I’m sharing those ponderings with you . So all of that , that is what these pictures represent. I’m just so thankful. 

***Experience Ralae wrote in text to her parents:

1-14-24 Mercedes got her patriarchal blessing today. As a mother it was wonderful, for Mercedes it was an experience unlike any other. After the blessing, I opened my eyes and saw Mercedes with tears pouring down her cheeks. She had never felt that kind of outpouring of the spirit before. She felt so loved by her Heavenly Father that it manifested in many tears. She was so prepared spiritually to receive her blessing. She studied the topic many times over the last year and fasted and prayed. I knew she was ready, and I think that’s partly what made it so special. As a mother, I see her strengths and I also see her weaknesses from time to time. I feel I know her so well, and I spend so much time praying, trying to figure out how to be the best mother to her. I pray for guidance from the spirit so that I can partner with my Heavenly Father in the task of bringing her back home to Him. Today, I saw so clearly that partnership in action. The patriarch laid his hands upon her head, and full of the spirit, he gave her such a profoundly personal blessing. I knew, and Jon Mark knew, just how intimately Heavenly Father knows His precious daughter. Line after line, point after point, blessing after blessing, it was like the patriarch had a glimpse into her soul and rehearsed it out loud. Jon Mark and I were both blown away by the demonstration of spirit to spirit communication that was happening. Some parts that really stood out to me were: -Mercedes has a very valiant soul. Heavenly Father trusts her. She was reserved to come forth at this time. -She will enjoy a very special relationship with Jesus Christ and that relationship will carry her in times of great sorrow. -She will have a special connection to the scriptures, and a very personal relationship with prayer, and her ability to understand direction for her life. -Discernment is strong with her. -Revelation, wisdom and learning will come easily to her. -She has the capacity to become a great peacemaker and have a calm, peaceful life that is free of contention. -She has a great heart and a strong ability to love and be empathetic. -Her husband will be a wonderful, kind, and valiant man who honors the priesthood. -She is not susceptible to pride as others might be. It was very special to be able to witness that Heavenly Father really and truly knows our Mercedes. She was put in our charge and I feel the responsibility to help shape and mold her into all that she has the potential to be. I already see these qualities in her. I’ve told her many times that she’s got a tender heart and a great sense of right and wrong. She is strong and valiant. She does read and ponder the scriptures daily. She cares deeply for others, and doesn’t judge. She’s just so tender. It was a great experience and I look forward to my other children receiving theirs.

Hiking and Sharing the gospel

 The other day I went for a hike and had quite the experience. I wanted to record it here just so that I can look back on it and reflect from time to time. It's been a couple of months since the experience, so I will give a condensed version. 

I often go hiking alone. Because I am alone, I like to have my phone in my pocket playing my scripture podcast on speaker mode rather than have ear buds in my ears. I want to be able to hear my surroundings, I feel less vulnerable that way. As I was hiking along and listening to my podcast on the New Testament, I came upon another hiker. I realized that it would be a slow pass. The man was hiking fairly close to my speed, but I was just a bit faster--I would eventually pass him, but it was going to take a little bit of time. As I went to pause my podcast, I stopped myself. I had the distinct impression not to, I said to myself, "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, let it play." Interesting impression. I let it play. 

I got about five feet in front of the man when he called out to me, "who is preaching to you?" I told him that it was a podcast about the bible. He told me that he was looking for a new church. I thought to myself that this was the reason that I must have had that impression. I told him that I was happy to talk about my faith and answer any questions that he may have. We talked for a few minutes when he asked me if I was Mormon. I told him that I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and that we don't prefer to go by that nickname anymore, but yes, I was a Mormon. At that, his whole demeanor changed. I learned very quickly that he was out to destroy my testimony and that his "questions" weren't genuine but they were an attempt to get me in a "gotcha" moment. I stayed calm and happy and continued to defend my faith, but I was not interested in participating in any form of contention. He wouldn't leave me alone, and he continued to hike alongside of me. 

His voice was elevated, and once we reached the top, he was causing a scene. He was practically yelling at me, calling me a blasphemer and he told me he was worried for my soul. He was combative, and quite a bit bigger than me, so he drew a small crowd. Two women joined the on-lookers and for a moment I thought they were there to help me, but then I noticed them nodding along with what he was yelling. I was able to stay calm and positive. At one point, I told him that I couldn't force him to believe what I believe, that he had his agency to choose and that I encouraged him to meet with the missionaries, read the Book of Mormon, and decide for himself what he believes of it. He told me that he was going to pray over my soul, and I told him that I needed all the prayers I can get and I appreciated it. But, when he took a step towards me I decided that the conversation needed to end, not only for my safety, but also because it was clear that he wasn't interested in conversation. I took a step back and told him to have a nice day but that I was going to start back down the mountain. The two girls that joined the on-lookers earlier asked to join me on my hike back down. They told me that they had questions and wanted to continue where the conversation ended.  

As we continued to hike, one woman stayed quiet and the other asked a bunch of questions. However, it was quite clear from the start that she was also out to destroy my testimony. She was seeking real knowledge about what I believed, she instead told me that she thought I was dead wrong. At that, I said to her that I love talking about my faith, It is my favorite thing to talk about. But, I told her that I thought she'd agree, as a fellow follower of Christ, that the conversation needed to be respectful and kind--contention drives away the spirit--and so if she wanted to continue, then I would invite her to ask her questions so long as we remained respectful and kind. She agreed and with that the tone of the conversation changed. She asked wonderful questions (although she clearly had had her fill of "anti-Mormon" literature). I knew that she attempting to be a missionary for her faith, but I was also going to do my best to be a missionary of mine. We hit on all sorts of doctrine and scripture. I listened to her respectfully, she listened to me respectfully. I told her that we had a lot of common ground to stand on. It was a wonderful conversation of mutual sharing.

 At the end of the hike, the other woman--who had said nothing up to this point--turned to me and thanked me. She told me that she was a newly baptized member of the non-denominational Christian church of her friend. She told me that she was new to Christianity and didn't know a lot. She told me that she has so many questions and really enjoyed listening to the two of us talk and she was learning so much. 

After all of that, I think that she was maybe the reason why I needed to let my podcast play. I'll never know what comes of it. But, at the end of the day, I can still say that I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I will always be willing to discuss my faith and defend my faith if the case may be.